Still trying to come to grips that my family are about to go
through the motions of this horrific illness. Mum was first diagnosed in 2014 just before my 18th party, with breast cancer but she remained positive. She went through chemo, radiotherapy and lymph node removal. Beat it a year later. Has since struggled with tiredness, sore, easily catches bugs and just getting on with it. I would say, she’s my best friend and my hero.
The worst happened on November 19th last year where after a trip to A&E in an ambulance, following horrible pain, mums as diagnosed for the second time. The pain? Oh, that was caused by her rib cracking due to a tumour there. Where else is it? Yeah, this is what we don’t know fully. We found out it’s 1 tumour on a left rib, 3 clusters on her lung. That’s not the worst of it, we found out a few weeks later that a pain she had before March was another tumour that caused a right rib to break. So it’s been around for longer than we thought. Only picked up because she thought it was a hernia and needed looking at as she couldn’t move.
I’m now 24, a mum myself and I just don’t know how to put on the brave face like the first time. I keep remembering a conversation a doctor had the first time “if it comes back in the bones or blood, we’d need to worry”, well I am worried and my anxiety is just rocketing. She’s tired, more than usual really, she’s so sore and I just see my mum, my hero, struggling and I can’t do anything. Our son helps lift our spirits slightly, got to be strong for him and that’s all I can think about at times.
I’m engaged and worried that the plans we have for a small wedding to ensure she sees me get married will all fail due to this lockdowns and restrictions.
we find out what we are dealing with and a plan of action on the 11th, hopefully we get some good news but I can’t seem to get passed the “this is bad” stage.
sorry for babbling and probably not making much sense, I needed to vent somewhere as my partner just cuddles me and says it will be ok, with this worried and lying tone. It’s no ok, it’s f*cking undair and heartbreaking.
Hey Stephlew
Sorry to see you posted a few days ago, I hadn't seen your post until now!
I am truly sorry that this is going on in your world and that Mum's cancer has returned in such a manner ((Hugs))
My youngest daughter is also planning her wedding with the 'need' for her Dad to be there to give her away, he has been given a terminal diagnosis and poor prognosis, so I understand your worries of wedding plans failing and lockdown getting in the way. I am not sure where in the world you are but this next level lockdown news may also be another blow in the plans of many.
My youngest is 28, not much older than you, she too has a son who keeps her going. Her words are similar to yours, it is unfair, it is heart-breaking and it does happen to all the wrong people.
I hope that you find some good news on the 11th, I hope in the last few days your inner strength has carried you and kept you going, and that your partner continues to hug you.... I am not sure he is lying, I believe he is hoping, for you and for your Mum, that once again, she will come out the other side of this diagnosis and return to better health.
Please feel free to babble here whenever you need too... someone is always here.
Thinking of you all
Lowe'
So sorry about the news of your mum
I’m in the same boat as you at the moment and am feeling lost, deflated and defeated before the battle has been begun.
My father was diagnosed 4 years ago with stage 4 lymphoma, and three years ago (next week is the anniversary) he had his last chemo and was told it was gone. I had never felt relief like hearing that. My dad was so poorly, ended up with pneumonia after his first chemo and was on a ventilator for weeks years ago due to his cancer.
Yesterday we were told his cancer is back - we are not yet sure the extent of it and what treatment can happen if any, but seeing my dad poorly again is just breaking me.
After the first time round I had a complete breakdown where I had severe depression which I have only in the past twelve months managed to really shake off. I’m also clueless how I’m supposed to have the energy again to do this again 
