My Nan was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer in her chest lining early 2018. Told she had 4-5 years if she responded well to treatment. Chemo and radio has kept it at bay, although it’s growing and she has chosen to stop all treatment completely. Nan is now on oxygen at home and seeing her everyday, I’m noticing small signs of her deteriorating and I’m scared.
Her already small appetite is decreasing, she’s lacking interest in drinking. More and more breathless, chocking easily on almost all food she does want to eat, more tired, what appears to be blood vessels bursting in her ankles and feet and she’s getting very confused and forgetting things so easily.
I work in care, and have helped my own service users when it came to the end of their lives and can easily recognise these things as symptoms that can happen in the last few months of life.
I am struggling to cope with the thought of this being my last Christmas with her, I’m scared, I’m angry, I’m heartbroken and I’m numb all at the same time.
I don’t really know what the point to this is, I guess I just want to know if anyone else has had a loved one with these symptoms/signs and how long it was until they passed away...
Hi
Sorry to hear about you nan and sorry too that nobody replied sooner, I did wonder how to reply because one thing my wife always said she did not want was a prognosis and I really struggled with that.
When my son was born my mum was in hospital, not cancer, though the doctors did not really expect her to come out. She rallied though and was actually much better when she came out of hospital that she ever was before. In the end though she ended up outliving my dad.
Your emotions are really common, if you look at Looking after someone with cancer you will see it is so very common. One thing I learnt the hard way with my wife's cancer was to remember to make some time to look after myself because I need to be there when needed.
Even in hospices with expert doctors we have seen cases where the doctors say days and then the patient rallies to go months or even years and just sometimes, like with my mum in the end people die unexpectedly - the truth is nobody really knows what tomorrow will bring, a lesson I had to learn the hard way.
<<hugs>>
Steve
