Hi everybody, I'm Nicky I'm 34 from Merseyside. My husband Andy (56 - yep, he's an old sod) has very recently been diagnosed with throat cancer. He won't have scans for another week so we don't know quite how much is has or hasn't spread. Anywho, although I've known people who have had and recovered from cancer, the two people that I have been closest to - mum and granddad - have both died. I'm trying to be positive, but I am so so bloody scared and am finding myself feeling defeated already which I hate.
I have borderline personality disorder, anxiety, agoraphobia and all that good stuff, and my emotions can be a bit all over the place and unpredictable. However, good or bad when in a crisis my mind blocks everything out and I fixate on fixing. I cared for my mum through her palliative chemo and end of life care which at the time I coped with ridiculously well until she died and I went into my own crisis.
Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself to you all and give a little bit of background.
I have a question actually. Hospitals and covid: what have you all found visiting in hospital like during the pandemic? I've been requested to join Andy obn Monday to discuss his treatment, but are you all allowed to join your loved ones during chemo and / or radiotherapy? What about visiting after surgery? I'm anticipating a tonsilectomy (cancer on / behind both tonsils) and surgery to remove part of the back of his throat which I assume will require a short hospital stay if only due to him likely needing tube feeding until he's healed. I'm trying to get things set in place sooner rather than later so I'm not rushing about trying to sort things out last minute e.g. hospital bags, setting his laptop and phone for things like discord so we can talk.
Okay, I think I'm done droning on now. Hiya, I wish I didn't have to speak to you all - in the nicest way possible - but it's a pleasure to meet you all.
Hi Nicky and welcome back to the fold you might never have wanted to meet again.
My wife's cancer is different and as it has been stable now for about 6 years our experience of hospitals and covid has been rather limited. With the tier system too things may well be different in other parts of the country.
I can relate to your story about your mum - my dad was very ill - care home or hospital for most of the last couple of years of his life though for him it was not cancer. Still when he died it was a shock and perhaps an element of having been working so hard to look after him and then the load being removed can take the relief they are finally not struggling versus a degree of relief and emotions can easily go wild.
Much of Janice's appointments have now been done by video conference but x-rays and the like she has been in the hospital on her own and that appears to be something they positively encourage. Janice did say though that she did see one lady in the waiting room with a carer.
I am glad we are here for you and don't think you did droning at all - you should have seen some of my early posts.
<<hugs>>
Steve
