My mum has been told she has stage 4 lung cancer only pallative care and a dnr My mum left her husband shortly after diagnosis. He his my stepdad and unfortunately hes dying too . Only got a few months left . My mum was living with us until she went into hospital 1st time due to circumstances we couldnt have her back .(our bathroom floor fell through) thos made her homeless and she was given a intermediate bed she is back in hosp but has been offered a bungalow so waiting for it to be ready . Has the cancer as spread she has become more paranoid saying everyone abadon her which they havent . Her focus is so on this bugalow . I feel im getting stuck in middle with people who are taking everything she stays because of covid we are only getting confused information third hand . Then i have stepdad family expecting to get involved but i dont think i can cope with anymore . We have said we will keep a check on him and take him out while he can i dont know what to do i dont think there will ne long for either of them and want to make most of it
Hi @redhead46, so sorry to read your story and can well understand your problems in wanting to be there for everybody but then perhaps juggling so many issues at the same time and feeling overwhelmed yourself.
One thing many carers get to learn, often the hard way, is that we need to look after ourselves. Some feel it can be a little bit selfish but everyone needs a bit of recharge time.
It took me a while to learn this and the help of a living with less stress course.
Hope the bungalow comes off, will she be having any other support when she goes there - if needed knowing that there are professionals supporting our loved ones can mean not all of the care falling to us meaning perhaps we have more time to be a loving family rather than doing basic nursing.
It might help to look at Looking after someone with cancer especially that bits about getting help for you - well done posting on here, come back whenever you need and if you need a quick fix the helpline is there for everyone - I have certainly cried at them in the past!
<<hugs>>
Steve
So sorry to hear that. From when my own parents died it sort of felt for a little while that the process of funerals and the other administration kept my family busy. If you need any support do just ask as someone is always listening on here.
<<hugs>>
Steve
