Hi all,
I feel very uncomfortable speaking about this to anyone, hoping to get some objective advice. My dad was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer around a year ago, I love my dad so much but he was very controlling and manipulative over me growing up. He has suffered with depression and developed a pretty bad drinking problem my mother left him when I was around 12 years old. I moved to Australia around 3 years ago and I feel it actually strengthened our relationship, it was nice having the distance and I feel like it forced my dad to respect my boundaries.
Anyway, I have been back to the UK twice since my dads diagnosis but now with COVID it’s very difficult for me to visit. I really want to though, but as I am on a visa still in Australia it may not be possible for me to return if I decide to leave. This situation doesn’t seem like it’s going anytime soon and we have absolutely no idea how long dad has left either. I speak to him every week on the phone but he almost always makes a comment that I should be moving back to the UK to be with him and it makes me feel horrible. I Live with my partner in Australia (he is on a visa also not a citizen) and I feel it is putting a strain on our relationship also as I am so indecisive if I should stay or move back to the UK. I feel like my life is more in Australia now but I am scared that border restrictions might mean I could risk not being there for dad in his final days.
i don’t know what to do. I feel horrible for wanting to live in Australia, I’m scared if I move back to the UK I will have lost that opportunity but also want to be there for dad too.
Thanks for much for taking the time to ready this, any advice would be appreciated.
M
Hi and welcome to the online community
I'm very sorry to read that your dad has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Although I haven't been in your position, I can understand that it must be very difficult to decide whether to move back to the UK.
Unfortunately, I don't think anyone here will be able to advise you whether you should come back or not as it's a uniquely personal decision. Maybe you could write a list of pros and cons for returning and see if that helps you make a decision.
Wishing you all the best with whatever you decide to do.
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
