Hello everyone
I have come onto here as this is a whole different experience for me and not sure what to do or what support I can give my partner
my mother in law has had spinal cancer for the last two years and we found out last week she has gone into a hospice and is now at end of life care stage as three different types of chemo where tried but sadly unsuccessful, she had hidden this from our family until this time how bad she actually was as she didn’t want to burden anyone
my partner is so close to her it’s unbearable for him knowing she hasn’t long left although we don’t know exactly as he didn’t want to know and neither does my mother in law, which is understandable.
i just don’t know how to handle this I need to stay strong for him and also our 9 year old daughter I have noticed his mental well-being has taken such a dive over the last week, I suffer depression and anxiety myself and notice the symptoms in him I’m worried for him
i know that this is a tough time and will continue to get tougher I want to be able to support him fully and just would like suggestions or advice anything is welcome as I feel quite useless at the moment and feel there is more I can do for him.
Hi ,
It can be hard sometimes when people have not shared a diagnosis with the "I did not want to burden you" can feel to some like I did not trust you to be able to deal with this and of course has meant the time to come to terms with this is potentially much less.
A prognosis (how long) is at best a guess based on averages, I really struggled with my wife not wanting a prognosis but I am so glad she did because nobody would possibly have guessed how well she has responded to treatment - she is my miracle.
It might help your husband, and possibly you too, to look at our guide Looking after someone with cancer, I like in particular the bits around dealing with our own feelings - sometimes it sucks but other days can be really good and it can be a really positive experience to make some special memories about this time.
For your daughter too it might be worth looking at Talking to children and teenagers so she can feel included as part of the family even at this very sad time.
<<hugs>>
Steve
