My Grandad's diagnosis

Hi ,

sorry to hear about your grandad and it is good that he has a great family around him, though of course covid makes everything just that little bit more difficult and being furloughed can be a challenge to.

In terms of emotional and practical support everyone is welcome here and indeed is more that welcome to call our helpline too. When work returns it is worth talking to your boss/HR or someone too as they might be able to offer more in the way of flexibility to allow you some room to support your family. 

It might help you to look at our pages on Looking after someone with cancer as I am sure you will find support options for you and indeed the rest of your family too.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Steve, 

Thank you so much for coming back to me and for the advice. It is greatly appreciated! Since your reply, I have a further update on my grandad. 

Around two weeks ago, he had his stent inserted into his oesophagus and has come home. I am pleased to say that he is doing well with what he is able to eat, it is just the battle of getting him to try things i.e. Ready Brek over normal porridge (he deems Ready Brek as fake porridge...no clue as to why). He is naturally frightened of the stent becoming blocked, but I know in time he will get there. 

Sadly, we have since been informed that his cancer is deemed terminal and we have no specific time frame as to how long we have left with him. He has been offered chemotherapy treatment and he is trying to decide whether to have the treatment or not. Having seen the side affects of chemo, as my friend's mum was treated for her cancer this way, I do have my concerns as we are told if he is physically sick then we need to call an ambulance so they can check his stent is not blocked. I know that people react to chemo in different ways and not everyone will be sick from it but it's still a scary thought for me if he choses to have the treatment. 

I know ultimately it is his decision and as a family we will support him whatever he decides, but is there any advice you can give us as to how we can cope with any side affects he may have?

Many thanks in advance.

Hi ,

The list of side effects from chemo often seems terrifying and sickness is quite common but there are some really good drugs people can take that will help to lessen this. Some people get hardly any side effects, others get a few at different severity and others get quite a few - but there is no real way to predict this. 

My mum was always one to resist trying new things; the one that really got me was she would only eat mousetrap cheddar or danish blue - she got the taste for danish blue while working in a kitchen but would ignore the wealth of other cheese.

I can sort of understand the issue behind ready break, it might help to show that oat flour (the second biggest ingredient) is just super fine rolled oats.

Perhaps the most important thing to look out for with chemotherapy though is often a fever, often these will need treated with IV antibiotics so likely to be a trip to hospital.

The chemotherapy centre in Oxford gives out a contact card for a 24/7 triage service that bypasses A&E.

What helped me most was the living with less stress course I did, helped me to concentrate on the here and now and gave me some skills that helped me deal with the unexpected when it arrived. I was so glad though my wife was very clear she did not want to know "how long", because in reality nobody really knows.

<<hugs>>

Steve