I am in the same position and finding it really hard. I can't see him or mum other than to leave shopping on their door. His treatment has been put on hold so no Idea what that will do and my poor mum is having to deal with it all. His diagnosis of kidney cancer was completely unexpected as he'd been having investigation into prostate cancer. We nearly lost him last year due to a bowel obstruction but he pulled through but is so weak and has no energy it's just heartbreaking xx
My Dad was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer in January. He has been having palliative chemo and had a scan today-we get the results on May 28th. He has gone so down hill the last couple of weeks-losing weight and very frail. I do my parents’ shopping but can only leave it on the doorstep and talk through the window. My Mum has been so upset but I can’t comfort her. It’s made a hard situation even harder. How are other people coping? My Dad is very depressed- he can’t see his Grandchildren or hug them and he’s not sure he will again. Am thinking of those in the same situation as my family xxx
I am new to the group too (I posted below) hopefully we can support each other on here. I am suppressing a lot of my feelings at the moment as it’s too painful-with all this Covid-19 going on, I’m finding it all too much. When did you find out your Dad was ill?
I'm new to the group too, so have only just discovered this thread, but can relate to many of the things that have been said. My dad was diagnosed with terminal kidney cancer two weeks ago - it has also spread to his lungs, lymph nodes and the veins around the affected kidney. He is deteriorating very quickly, with difficulty breathing, in a lot of pain and shedding weight very quickly. He has an appointment at the end of the week which we hope will give us some more information about the prognosis and treatment plan. I live apart from my dad, so have not been able to be with him or his partner through this time due to the current pandemic. I don't have children, but my brother is abroad, so there is a strong possibility that they will not see each other again. If Dad deteriorates further, I don't know whether I will be able to, or even if I should go and see him. This would have been a difficult situation in normal times, but the pandemic has made it feel almost impossible to navigate. While I have some amazing friends, I feel very down, isolated and helpless at times. I got very upset on the phone to him yesterday and felt so guilty about it.
I'm trying to cope by concentrating on the work I can do from home and getting out to exercise - just trying to keep my mind busy really! It's going to bed that I find scary because my mind almost immediately starts whirring - it's taking me hours to get to sleep at the moment and I'm feeling so tired - does anyone else have this or is able to recommend ways to switch off?
Just wanted to put my experience out here too - I'm really open to dialogue, other people's experiences and supporting one another. It's such a difficult time for anyone to be going through something like this, and up to now I've felt as though I was the only one. I'm so sorry for anyone going through this right now xx
Yes I’m glad I can work from home to take my mind off it and then take the dogs out for a walk in the fresh air. I’m the same, as soon as I try and go to sleep I start thinking about it all and get anxious. I’m not sleeping well at the moment either and when I wake up I immediately think of my Dad and can’t get back to sleep. Trying to think of some positives that have happened during the day before I go to sleep does help. It must be hard not living near your Dad but I bet he appreciates you ringing and hearing your voice. I’m glad we can support each other on here. It’s so difficult talking to friends and family about it as I feel as though I’m burdening them-so I tend to keep it bottled up. I’ve found the Macmillan helpline really useful though. Same as you I was feeling alone. We’re all doing the best we can in the circumstances. Sharing experiences will be beneficial to us all I think. Xxx
I wrote a few paragraphs and deleted them as it's all rubbish really I am trying so hard to be strong and be the positive one when I have really run out of hope and think dad's oncologist appt tmw will say no more treatment it's inevitable really just not sure I am ready or prepared to hear that but can we ever be?
I wrote a few paragraphs and deleted them as it's all rubbish really I am trying so hard to be strong and be the positive one when I have really run out of hope and think dad's oncologist appt tmw will say no more treatment it's inevitable really just not sure I am ready or prepared to hear that but can we ever be?
Am sorry to hear this. I don’t think we can ever be fully prepared and I still think it will come as a shock to me too. We can only do our best-if you need to cry, or be on your own just give yourself some time. I know it’s hard trying to put on a brave face for a family members.
My Dad is really poorly and the chemo has knocked him about a lot. He fell the other day, needed a blood transfusion and has a hospital bed in the living room. Dad was convinced his days are numbered but the Oncologist said on Monday his tumour has shrunk so the palliative chemo )although harsh is doing its job). I just hope this doesn’t prolong his suffering though-it’s mixed emotions. Am thinking of you-we’re all here to support you.
