I’m new too , my dad found out on Monday that he had tumour in the lung , neck and brain . Took him home to mum , the next day we took him for first appointment ( very quick to be surprised) . By lunchtime that day we were told that it’s only to prolong his life treatment as it’s spread to far . I was told on the road outside the hospital as he was starting his treatment and I have stopped crying since it’s being hitting me in waves usually when I’ve talked to family members or now as I’m reading this . I’m sorry that you’re going through this
I am struggling with being the strong person and keeping the peace between family members who should just be putting everything aside and supporting eachother and more importantly my mum and dad it's exhausting and I want to scream at them all but I have to maintain the status quo. I worry about what will happen later and I include me in that worry as I don't want to be bitter. Sorry this is all a bit selfish and definitely not the priority I guess this is just a good place to vent. I apologise
Do not apologise. I am in a similar position. My Dad is nearing the end of life and I have done everything I can to support him and Mum. My brother has been quite absent and I find it sad and disappointing. I think it is his way of coping, but it has not helped Mum or me. Like you I don't want to end up feeling bitter as that would be exhausting. But, it is very hard at times. Vent all you like. I feel like standing in the middle of a field screaming. I hope this forum helps you work through some of your feelings. Take care.
Thank you so much for your reply and I honestly think I may go and scream in a field tomorrow I have some very nearby, great idea, I have decided that I just need to concentrate on my relationship with dad and being there for him and Mum and the rest is immaterial. Anyone else has to equally find their own way and I can't worry about them. Or at least that's the plan Thankyou
Having been told the palliative chemo had shrunk Dad’s tumour it turns out it has spread. He took a turn for the worse on Father’s Day and has been in a hospital bed in the living room ever since. He’s on a syringe driver with morphine and anti-sickness, sleeps most of the day and in the last two days has stopped eating. This is now the final stage and after trying to be strong for everyone I’m starting to break. I hate watching him suffer and fade little by little everyday it’s so cruel.
my father is at the beginning of his journey with cancer
he has suspect acute myeloid luekemia which the extent of whether it’s spread or not we will find that out Wednesday :(
it could be fear but I have a horrible feeling due to how fast he has got sick :(
I also have no idea how to deal with the emotional impact
I am distracting myself with this site
research and packing a hospital bag
I have two very young children (age 1 and 5) so although I cried like Iv never cried before the past two days ... today I decided I just can’t in front of them so Iv has to turn my emotions off and just pretend it’s all ok until I’m on my own at night ..
Sorry you are having to go through this too-I have found this site very helpful. I also keep researching but I think a little too much sometimes which brings me down even more.
Kids are a great distraction-mine are 4, 11 and 12. No matter how bad things seem, they keep me going. Like you I keep it all inside until I go to bed and then cry.
It doesn’t help that the world doesn’t feel “normal” with Covid-19 and I just want to go back to how things were. My Mum is also losing weight as she feels guilty for eating when my Dad can’t-it’s stress from all angles.
My thoughts are with you and your family my dad is not at that stage yet and I am dreading when he is. There is nothing I can say except my thoughts and prayers are with you. Until I experienced this I had no idea just how hideously overwhelming it is and how horrific it is to see people you love go through this and how useless you feel. I am also allegedly the strong one and I am breaking but we are there and as completely rubbish as it is and as hard as it is we will remain there with them because that's us. Use this forum as whilst none of us can relieve the pain we all understand in some way.i wish I could help you more
Hello, I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I wont say i understand how you feel because trust me i know how frustrating that can be but my Dad just recently passed away from cancer. We were told he would have a year but within 7 weeks of diagnosis he died. I know how scary it is, i am a teen so i dont have the exact experience as adults but i want people to know however scary it may seem, its going to be alright. It is almost impossible to see the light now but you will get there at your own pace. Make sure you look after yourself too, you and your family still need to fight even if it doesnt seem worth it. Give yourself time to have your down time and cry whenever you need too. He will be so proud of you.
Omg are you seriously a teen your words are so amazing. I am so sorry to hear about your Dad and with all respect to everyone who has responded to any of my posts I have to say yours is the one that resonated. I can't see the light right now only a light that gets darker and darker but your words have helped beyond what you can imagine thank you so much I don't know you but I imagine you are an amazing person thank you
