My mam has just been told her clinical trials didn't work and the cancer has spread. There is nothing they can do they cant tell her how ling she has left and she's been told to stay safe at home until she's ready for palliative care.
She's just reached out to Macmillan cause she is terrified and has sought help to calm her fears.
I live 100 miles away and want to go and see her and my dad.
I desperately want to see them and help them this is wasting precious time she's running out of having to stay away. I understand it I appreciate it I know how important isolation is in these insane exceptional time .
Is there any way I can visit them safely this is heart breaking but I'm not a stupid person I would never put them in danger. My parents are in their 70s .
Thank you for listening any informed advice would sincerely be appreciated x
Hi
It is very sad to read your post. I am so sorry that your Mam's clinical trial didn't work.
I don't have 'informed advice' just thoughts really. A lot of people with terminal diagnosis do carry on living for many years and obviously if she isn't being given a time frame then that makes it so very difficult for you. Can she push for more of an idea of the time frame that they have in their minds? It might give you all more of an idea of what you are facing.
I 100% understand that you want to be with your parents, but given that you are younger, you could have coronavirus and not have any symptoms. What would happen if you visited and gave it to either one or both of them? The government are trying to bring out tests to see if someone has already had it as it seems to be they only check people in hospital if they have symptoms.
Could you get in touch with your or their MP and ask for a test to see if you have had/have it? And see if you could get permission to visit via that authority given the circumstances. The only thing I would think then, is that you would have to stay there until the lock down is lifted - because either one of them could have symptom-less coronavirus too and then you'd risk spreading it on your return.
Perhaps ringing the helpline for Macmillan might be an idea - an adviser might be able to think of something to help you.
I really do feel for you at this awful time,
Lesleyhelen thank you so much for responding I want to ask the questions I want some answers but my dad has said no one knows how long she has. I am the eldest of two daughters the "strongest" the glue that has always held it all together but through this whole God awful journey I have to respect my dad he feels so helpless and all he wants to do is make mam better and he can't and it kills him so whilst I want to wade in and take charge I have to step back and give dad that he's in charge and knows best it's all hes got left as much as it frustrates me .
18 months ago mam was given less than twelve months hence the clinical trials we knew it was never going to be a cure just buy her a bit more time to make memories
Now this bloomin insane time we all find ourselves in has stopped us making those memories .
I will ring the helpline there has to be something I can do I can't just sit back and let them deal with this alone she's battled this far it can't end with them on their own
I can't thank you enough for your time and kind thoughts tonight sometimes it's just an abyss you made me shed tears and smile at the same time and I thank you for that . With much love SL xx
