Heart breaking Resentment

Hi and Welcome the The Community, I noticed your post and just popped over from Carers. I think if we can understand why we feel the way we do, things slot into place. But I'm not an expert; all I can say is no, you're not a bad person, you're someone who is going through a lot and the human mind and emotions are so complex. Might I suggest you chat to one of our experts on the helpline, 0808 808 0000 to get some insight? The line is open 8am-8pm every day and they are very understanding. I'm an emotional person and completely understand what it's like to have thoughts and feelings that are unsettling. Please pick up the phone and get some expert support and give yourself a hug for having such deep and caring love that you reached out to us.

Love and hugs,

Hi Tia

I'm so sorry to read about everything you are going through at the moment.

My story shares a few similarities to yours.

I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer last June and had all treatments etc.

Now less than 6 months on my sister has been diagnosed the same, but her lump is far bigger than mine and she will have to undergo far more treatment than myself.

I have been through so many emotions and for me going through the Cancer I was in control as I had things I had to do, but now I am on the sidelines.

My way of coping is I am raising as much money as I can by doinng a sponsored head shave and half the money will go to my Oncology unit the rest to MacMillan.

Once the fund raising is finished my sister will still be having treatment so I don't know what I will do then.

For me take one day at a time.

Come on here, share how you feel, this community has helped me so much.

Sara

Hi NorthSouthDivide

You're definitely not alone in feeling like this. 

With cancer nothing is fair, but this has been brought home to you because you are close to two people with different prognoses. 

I think it's very normal to feel this way - your brain is just trying to make everything fit into the idea of how life should be, and when it can't make things fit you end up confused like this, with many conflicting emotions.  We are brought up to believe "everything happens for a reason" and that can be quite an ingrained thought process, so when cancer comes along, the injustice of it all can be very difficult to process. 

I'm not sure if I have anything helpful to suggest, but wanted to reassure you that you/re not alone in feeling like this.  This is a great forum for a rant, when you can't speak to people "in real life".  I don't often post, but visit to read other comments and reassure myself that I'm not alone, and that I'm not "wrong" to have these feelings.

Katie