Hello,
I don't really know where to start and not sure what to even say so here it goes.
My beautiful mumma got diagnosed September 2016 after suffering from what she thought was a migraine. After multiple trips to the hospital and having so many scans and biopsy, we got the awful news she had GBM4 and the prognosis was about a year. She had radio and chemo that she kind of walked through with minimal side affects, apart from sickness and loss of hair.
She started to lose her vision in one eye that made her unsteady on her feet so ended up in a wheel chair about a year ago. Until about 6 months ago she started to tell us she couldn't see anything and was living in darkness, so we took her to the doctors. A surgeon said he would be willing to operate on her again but during the operation she had to stay away, mum being mum jumped at the chance as she said she just wanted to see again.
However the operation didn't go to plan she asked the surgeon to stop half way through and turns funny trying to pull her tubes out and screaming (this is not my mum) that had to put her in an induced coma so she can recover. She was in this coma for 10 days and we got told 3 times that she wasn't going to pull through so me and my family just sat staring at her. Again mum being mum did wake up very confused and still very aggressive, this was not the end. we got told one of her lungs have collapsed and she has an infections and the doctors was going to take her off all meds, once these meds have finished mum will pass away as she will not be strong enough to pull through, and of course she is still here and this was now 6 weeks ago.
She is currently in a hospice still cant see anything and has no idea who we are, where she is, what's happened she knows nothing and its breaking me and my family.
She isn't eating and I know that's a sign of her body detreating, me and my family have come to the decision that she has had enough as she always said she never wanted to end up like this.
I am confused as to what I should be feeling like as I feel like I'm grieving for who my mum was and what's happened but she is still here so I'm really confused.
I hope this all makes sense sorry if it doesn't im just a bit all over the place at the moment xxx
Hello Hayley,
Thank you so much for your reply.
Jesus your poor mum, the things some people have to go through are shocking. As horrible as this sounds I just want the inevitable to happen now mainly for her as she has no quality of life but also for my family so we don't have to see her in the pain that she is in. My mum was so independent and always the life and soul of any party so seeing her this may just makes it unbearable.
I am so confused to how I should feel like I feel like I shouldn't be grieving but I already am.
Thank you for the hug 
x
