Hi guys only posted once. My dad was told a few weeks ago he had terminal cancer of the bile duct, he has now had a lot of scans which we are hearing back about on Friday. If the cancer has not spread they will do surgery but to do surgery which is major surgery they would have to remove 6 out of 8 segments of his liver to reach the bile duct he has agreed to do it if possible if he comes around from surgery it’s 10 days in hospital after and 3 months recovery time he’s told the hospital that he doesn’t need anyone to care for him but me. He’s refusing cancer support. I am not sleeping I am surviving on adrenaline only and it’s causing a rift with others because I can’t rest. My dad used to work early mornings and he doesn’t sleep much because he’s on autopilot and he’s itching from the cancer, on Saturday I slept for the longest time I had done in months and woke up at 10:30am my dad was furious with me for not being up earlier he said “I have been up since 5am so you should be up as well” I am desperate for sleep and he has been given 5 sleeping tablets but won’t use them, he gets annoyed when I say I need to rest he heartbreakingly said to me on Friday “ you can rest when I am dead” I have a massive family and my sister who doesn’t have anything to do with him she’s hiding away because of a text she sent to him last year which is abhorrent because he’s now in the position she has said in that text. I go and see him and he wants everything immediately and he wants me there and doesn’t want me there he’s so confusing I can’t keep up. I have cancelled my appointments for him apart from Friday this coming week because I need to see my GP he’s only in 2 days a week and very popular so I wouldn’t get to see him before Christmas so it’s vital, I am becoming incredibly ill, my dad was moody on the phone when he phoned up past the point of a shop yesterday less than an hour before he wanted to go out then me and my husband got a minute away from his flat and he said he wanted us to do a shop I told him we aren’t near the shop now and he hung up on me he won’t talk to me so badly in front of others though. He tells me one minute to go and rest but gets annoyed when I say ok then I will. This morning I have had 2 and a half hour sleep up at 4:30am and my husband is upset with me for not sleeping. I feel trapped knowing what to do any advice would be appreciated but also knowing people are reading this and hearing me is helpful, apologies for the long post.
buttercup01 thank you for replying and so quickly. My mum and dad are divorced so it’s just left down to me, my massive family show their care in other ways like meeting up and spending time with hi
my family have cars (well a few) but they aren’t helping my dad get to appointments and it’s been a nightmare sorting out transport for him. He’s been refusing cancer support also because he insisthe is going to pass any day but he’s eating, and he’s walking and occasionally going out. He recently talked about doing something silly. I can’t say that word as my post will disappear he will tougit out he’s just been upset by repeated tests and changes in appointments. He won’t tell anyone else but me I have an amazing cousin that I can turn too I am thinking of telling him. My family aren’t doing anything practical he won’t tell them how he truly feels. It hurts bad.
