Living through diagnosis, operation and chemo.

Hi 

So sorry to hear about your husband 

I can’t tell you what the future holds but I’m writing more for support. I hope the day got better after the post this morning. 

I am a parent, I also work full time. It’s a tough balance with life going on outside. My daughter is 3. I’m unsure how I am expected to go on and be her support when I am crumbling or I’m mentally just elsewhere. Sometimes supporting others helps or distracts me. other days, I simply don’t have the mental energy and simply can’t be the best mum I can be for that day. 

But we take it day by day, even one moment at a time

We got through today and we will get through tomorrow

x

My husband has stage 4!lung cancer and with two different diagnoses from the one set of scans, I am now confused, unsure what to believe and with the amount of mistakes that have been made with appointments, schedules etc, I don’t even trust them! 
I am a qualified nurse and have only been in my post since he was diagnosed about 6 weeks ago! I too can not take time off easily! Made even more difficult because the hospital refuse to give more than a couple of days notice for me to request a day off and I need a week! I am really struggling with having to arrange transport and allowing a friend to support him not me! This is having a huge mental strain on me and I am now having asthma attacks! Complicated by my first husband dying in the ward next to the cancer centre! Again no compassion! I am 52 and it is hard enough to know you will loose another husband without unnecessary stress! 
I have two children from my first marriage! One 20 yr old son who gave up uni to work! He has been great despite loosing his own dad only 6 yrs ago and a daughter aged 16 doing her GCSEs who needs a stress free atmosphere doing her exams!! 
we are short staffed at work and I work 4 days a week doing 8-10 hour shifts! I am tired because I can’t sleep partly from anxiety and partly from menopausal night sweats! 
I don’t know about you but I wonder when I will burn out! I need this job both financially and because it helps to escape!!! I will certainly need it when he does go! My colleagues are great but you can’t take the mick! 
if you find a release do let me know!! 

Hi, I’m so sorry to hear about your husband and everything you’re going through as a wife and family.  I’m caring for my husband too (he’s 69, was a big strong healthy man) then Bam, out of the blue, bowel cancer. He is palliative and has had his first round of chemotherapy.  I’ve had to take time off work (unfortunately unpaid) because I’m not coping very well but trying to be supportive and everything that goes with it. And yes we are only human, so all we can do is take it day by day.  I don’t have any answers for what the future holds or how we will cope, it’s scary, sad, and I want the world to stop turning. All we can do is put one foot in front of the other and carry on.  I’m sure you’re doing a great job, better than me by the sounds of it because I can’t even face work!  Just sending you a hug because I can’t be any more constructive x 

I am using work as a distraction! It gives me something to get my teeth into and I am helping people which I don’t seem to be able to do for him because the last two days he has just yelled at me! He is clinging to all the false hope they are giving him! 
I scrubbed his flat on Sunday we live apart because of his ptsd and explained all about cross infection! Today I am told to watch a bloody u tube video on infection!!! Ffs I trained as a nurse 35 yrs ago, have always worked surgical/orthopaedics and I now haven’t got a clue!!! Not seen a good picture around the hospital!! 
how dare I get yelled at two days in a row! I have been told I am taking him for his first treatment on Tuesday! I don’t want to! I can’t deal with that part of the hospital!! And I won’t be spoken to as though I am stupid! 
I am seeing my Dr tomorrow, just hope she listens for a change because I don’t really know where to go!