Don't know how to cope

Hi Amanda

Welcome to the online community, it's a place that no one wants to come to but I'm pleased that you found us and felt able to reach out to us at this very distressing time.

Unfortunately no one ever prepares us for this time, there's no book to refer to we just have to do what we can and try and cope which I know is easier said than done. 

You've already been strong for your husband and come this far and you will find the strength from somewhere to continue to look after him.

Have you spoken to your GP or hospital team about your husband going into a hospice even for a short time to give you some respite, failing that do you have any help to look after your husband, sorry I'm doing something that I shouldn't do and assuming that your husband is at home, Even if someone was able to come and sit with your husband for a few hours whilst you take yourself out and just be you for a little while, I know that probably you don't want to leave your husband but you will feel the benefit of doing it and come back recharged and be able to carry on.

I see that you have joined a few other groups our carers group is a good place to come to let off steam, have a rant and rave (oh how we all do it at some time) or just come in for a chat the other group you've joined we won't speak about just now we'll put that one to one side for as long as possible but I would like you to think about joining our Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum group and introduce yourself to the other members they are very friendly and very supportive towards each other and as they know first hand what you're going through they will share their experience with you and give you their support and advice.

The important thing at this time is that you don't bottle things up but come into any of the groups and speak about how you are feeling, speak about anything, ask questions and you'll find that you are not alone in this journey there's a whole host of friends waiting to take you under their wing and give you their support to help you cope a little better.

I'm sorry that I can't give the glimmer of hope that you earnestly desire but I can offer you the friendship of many people all the same as you who will been as supportive as they can, you see you've become a member of the mac family and we draw our strength from each other.

Please keep in touch we are here all the time even if you're awake in the middle of the nights the ladies (and the some gents) in the Breast groups Awake thread are on line at some very strange hours and you're very welcome to join them for a chat.

If I can help you with anything please give me a shout out at anytime.

Ian