Taking dad to chemo for the 1st time

Hello , I just looked at what time you posted this and hoped that wasn’t a sign of how worried you are. I visited the Macmillan bus the other week and I’m currently thinking about becoming a volunteer in a chemo unit, as they have people who talk to anyone who is there on there own, or help people get a drink of water or a cup of tea and biscuits. I am personally on my 34th immunotherapy treatment, it’s given by iv in the day unit or chemo suite as some people call it. I remember how I didn’t like the thought of having to start treatment and how it actually made it easier for me that a Macmillan nurse showed me the unit and where I’d likely be sitting and ran through the checking in procedure. So I thought it might help you if I put in a link to a Macmillan video about chemo.

https://youtu.be/fB13YmdLdvw

My husband always comes with me, but he’s a bit squeamish (he nearly fainted when our children were born) and so he comes in with me to see where I’m sitting and goes away to get a paper for me and by the time he’s back my cannula has been put in my hand. The treatment time for me and a lot of people its just a time to chat, or read. 

It might help to ask your Dad before you go how long it takes, ( I’m only in 90 mins but we often sit next to people in for 4 hours)

what he likes to do while he’s there (I take a code word book, and read the paper) my hospital has a sign that you can ask at reception about borrowing a tablet, and there is also a library of books, you might need to catch him up on loads of family gossip.

ask him if he wants to do anything before or after treatment, I like to not remember the day for treatment but have a nice day out, so sometimes if I have an afternoon appointment we go for a walk in a park. Afterwards I often feel to tired however if I have an early appointment it’s nicer to have lunch out or a cup of tea with a view before going home.

its not as daunting as you might think, but it easier for me to say as I’ve been in there so many times. For my husband he doesn’t feel he has to be there for every minute and can have a wander around the shops in the hospital or go Pokemon hunting while the nurses do there thing and not get in the way, it also breaks the time up if he can then tell me about his walk. I find it hard to turn the pages of newspapers with a cannula in so sometimes he reads the paper and tells me what he is finding interesting. 

Sorry to join in on the friends and family page I hope you get the perspective from others of how they feel being there and what they do during their time. I hope it’s not as bad as you imagine.

Our first visit to the chemotherapy unit was realy much earier that we could have hoped - well perhps with the exception of the challenge they had getting the canula in - Janice's veins seem to sense a needle in the room and run into hiding but the expert nurses have a real nack and a box of tricks that can help to make things easier.

Partners are welcome to stay and that can be useful in the role of gofor but handy too when the doctors give drugs instructions etc especially if they can take notes. One of the things I picked up in Janice;s fist chemotherapy is that the drug can make your wee red - that could be quite frightening if you were not expecting it.

Our hospital gives a card with a 24/7 contract number for any concerns especially any side effects that were not expected and often a very important issue is to keep a close eye on temperature as many chemotherapy treatments leave people open to infections that may need IV antibiotics, Janice used this a couple of times and they will often want to see you just to make sure.

Some times people can almost become recluses while on chemotherapy but sensible precautions might include having some alchol hand disinfectant and one of the ear thermometers etc.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi,

I took my Dad for his first chemo recently, he’s now had 3.  

I too was dreading it but was much easier than I expected, you have to have it in your mind that this is helping your Dad. Try not to see it as something that will make him ill, which it may do, but helps him towards the end goal.

No-one wishes to see a loved one suffer, but administering the chemo in itself was not such an ordeal for us and it may not be for your Dad.  Everyone we saw was lovely. It’s a club no-one wants to be part of so you will be met with empathy and compassion, but there were lively,  chatty people there too.

I persuaded my Mum to go, just once, as she was experiencing anxiety about it all and now she has been she can visualise the unit and what happens there.  It is not as frightening a place as you’ve probably envisaged so go with an open mind, you may surprise yourself.

Your Dad will be glad You are with him and your Mum will know he’s in good hands, so you will be supporting them both.

You are anxious which is understandable but be kind to yourself, it’s allowed.

Take care

mm