Mum has Lung Cancer

Hi , I’m sorry to hear about your Mums diagnosis, I hope she was well enough to have her final chemo today. I’m sorry your having trouble coping at the moment, and I hope it helped to write down how you feel, of course you want you Mum at your wedding. I used to work at a wedding venue run by a charity, which is why your post caught my eye, I used to love helping with the table plans and setting the wedding favours on the tables and talking with the excited but sometimes nervous brides the day before. 

You said you don’t know how to cope, I wasn’t sure if this meant in general about the anxiety of everything, or wether because you are trying to plan ahead for your big day that the uncertainty you are feeling about your Mums health is ruining what might otherwise be such a lovely day to plan for.

A daughter of a friend of mine brought her wedding forward and planned it very quickly as my friend had breast cancer that had spread to her brain, and had a poor prognosis. I have fond memories of watching my friend and her daughter putting wedding favours in boxes and tying ribbons. My friend loved helping in those weeks of preparation, she wasn’t mobile but it gave her something really nice to look forward to, something joyful to lift and wobble days. I hope you find a way of focusing on making good memories and I hope you can put any fears of her not making it to one side, or look into any possibility of altering the day. I wasn’t sure wether to mention that the venue I worked at was near a hospice and one bride put a table in a quiet place with a picture of her mum on it as she unfortunately didn’t make it to the day. She was still a happy bride who had come to terms with the fact that her mum although not there physically was there in her heart, and the table was her way of saying to everyone that her Mum was there.

It is very hard to cope with uncertainty I love the phrase when life gives you lemons make lemonade, but it’s hard to to do, but when someone achieves that so beautifully it is hard not to applaud the resolve those people have. I wish you strength for what ever lemons you receive, and I’m hoping my words recalling those experiences have not upset you, but may help you try and bring some energy into sorting through how you want to cope. 

There is a section in the Macmillan info an Support on coping emotionally and making sure you get support. I will put a link in incase that is helpful to you https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/coping/your-emotions/someone-close-has-cancer

best wishes