Young husband with terminal bowel cancer

hi

welcome to the online community, I'm so sorry you're in this situation.

I'm from the breast group so not really up to speed on bowel cancer, although both my husband's parents died from it in their 60s, so it's played on our minds a bit.

My brother also had a suspicious polyp removed after going to routine screening, that was supposedly nothing to worry about and then they thought they'd seen lesions in his peritoneal cavity which isn't good news at all, but thankfully when they did the surgery the surgeon had a good look around and said it would be fine. 

There's two parts to this, as I see it, one is treatment options, ever hopeful that there's new and more effective treatments and the question is how far do you go and how much do you spent on attempting to find a cure, or if not a cure something to control it.

Have you looked into other options ?

Our local hospital is actually a centre of excellence for bowel, Bedford, with top surgeons. Perhaps a second opinion. ? Some surgeons won't operate on the liver, some seem more optimistic. 

The second part is how you feel and I have to say I do remember when my father died, suddenly when I was 16, everyone was so nice for about a week then nobody mentioned anything at all, it was like it never happened and I was still absolutely devastated .

Staying strong is so hard and I'm guilty of having several meltdowns which I now regret but I don't know how to 'normal' for my kids, my youngest was going through his GCSEs when I was diagnosed and had to deal with mum having chemo and no hair etc

The school were utterly rubbish, none of his teachers showed any kindness or extra care and consideration and despite my many requests we were fobbed off. Thinking about it now still makes my blood boil. 

Perhaps some sort of family time where you all have a plan, help each other decide how to be strong for each other, how to ask for help when you're feeling sad? How old are the kids ?

huge hugs

Carolyn

xxx