Hi everyone,
My husband was diagnosed with bowel cancer inside and out. The mainntumoir isn't operable yet they're hoping to shrink it to remove it. We have 6 kids collectively, 13yr old, 11yr old, 8yr old, 7yr old, 3yr old and 11month old. He's pushed me and the 3 youngest kids away and hasn't even told the mother of the other 3 but her and I don't get on anyways. We don't really have any family his mother has dementia and doesn't even know what day of the week it is, my dad's shut down and won't speak to anyone as he's been threw it with a rare form of throat cancer and can't cope because he knows whats coming, so it's just me and the 3 kids. I'm trying to put a brave face on but inside my heart has been ripped out. Feels like someone has turned me upside down, shaken all the items out my pockets and now they just don't fit back in anymore if that makes sense. I just don't know how to cope.
Hi , welcome to family and friends. You are dealing with a huge amount and it is no surprise you are wondering how to cope, I think we have all been there. You are strong though just to cope with everything to date. It is also not unusual for ex-cancer patients to have issues dealing with people currently going through treatment as it can bring back very difficult memories.
I ended up doing a living with less stress course; the big thing was to appreciate what I have, the good days, the hope rather than worrying about a future I cannot control. The controlled breathing exercises are great for both dealing with the unexpected but also allowing me to relax.
We all need to make some time for ourselves otherwise it is easy to get overwhelmed - doing that with an 11 month old is probably easier said than done though.
Fingers crossed that the shrinkage works, take things one day at a time - and keep talking.
<<hugs>>
Steve
