It's been a really tough couple of weeks for me. It just seems to be one thing after another at the minute and sometimes it all gets too much.
My mum was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer Jan 2016. I just turned 20 and don't have any siblings, I've never known my biological dad. She's had boyfriends but none have stuck around. It's always just been me and her. She is my best friend, the only one I know I can rely on.
And I am so terrified of her leaving me. As of right now everything is stable. But I can't stop thinking about the future. Will she see me get married and walk me down the aisle? Will she ever hold my child? Will I get the opportunities to make her proud? I know no one has the answers. The questions are unanswerable. I just need to get this off my chest.
My friends know what's going on. I reach out for support and they don't seem to give my anything. If anything I'm like a magnet for people who need support. I spend so much time making other people feel better. I feel like screaming 'what do you have to be sad about' or 'do you know what I'm going through everyday?!'
Even random people in the street going about their lives. How can the world carry on as normal when mine is falling apart.
I tell people they aren't alone. But I really am.
Hi ,
sorry to read about this but recognize both the feelings of problems just building up and then being the person people turn to.
Some of the oddest things have helped me to realise that worrying about how we will cope when is really not helpful. Some really crazy things that helped me to realise this included people being killed in an accident and a friend who dies totally out of the blue.
I am glad you found us here as I see you have been really supportive of others - and you are really not alone.
<<hugs>>
Steve
