Me and My Dad and his Brain tumor pacman

FormerMember over 6 years ago

2 replies
15 subscribers
1750 views

So. Dads brain tumor was discovered on scan post motorcycle RTA in 2004. Biopsy 2006 screwed his peripheral vision left eye and started having seizures so had to give up driving license.....zoom fast forward August 2016, Dad collapsed at home, 100% loss of mobility and X2 incontinence. 3mth in hospital awaiting nursing home, nursing home found but TOTALLY inappropriate.

July 2016 place secured at a Leonard Cheshire home. They dress him everyday, he had made good friends and I love going there to see everyone and hang out with my Dad.

5 weeks ago, I get a call, and yes I have over the weeks witnessed Dad's decline. He is poorly, hardly eating and only taking about 400ml fluid a day, he is struck by shingles.

Last Tuesday I got the sack from my job, MD says my performance is not 100% and they foresee it decline further with my Dad's demise. I've been with them 9mths and passed the 3mth probation. ACAS say they can do this as you only get rights after 2yrs.

Today I checked in with nursing home, the tone of the nurse is not good, so I drove over there tonight. Dad is in bed he has a Nick Drake album playing, he's not responsive but I ask if he would like me to stroke his hair as he did me a babe.

He started choking, I went to nurses office, they followed me back to room saying it's most likely a dry cough, next minute 2x nurses and 2x carers are putting my Dad in recovery position and the suction machine was called for. This was not needed as he settled on his side.

I was not scared and thankful they didn't ask me to leave the room, I just said Dad you're ok you're safe.

I've come home to sleep, but as it's almost 3am I'm obviously failing. Dad is 66, I'm 41 it's just us as family so I'm starting to struggle a bit now his journey is coming to the end.

Feeling really lonely and heart broken.

FormerMember over 6 years ago

Hi. I just wanted you to know that someone has read your post and to express my sorrow on hearing about your dad .we all understand how difficult it can be at this time. You are not alone in this battle we are here to help you through this time, you can come on here at anytime and have a good old rant, let off steam or just generally speak to people at anytime of the day or night there's normally almost someone around to listen to you.

This may not be appropriate for you at this time but we have recently opened up a new sub group called End of life forum - end of life patients only and you may find it useful to join into this group you can also join our Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum group and meet the very nice people over there, you will find them very supportive and maybe of help if you repost your post there, it's easy to join either group please just click on either green link above and this will take you to the groups homepage where if you click on join this group then click on start a discussion you can paste the above post into the groups and I'm sure that the very nice people will start to give you some support very quickly.

The best thing you can do for your dad at this time is to be with him as much as you can and let him know that you are there for him.

But there is something I must ask you to do and that is look after yourself and keep your strength up for yourself your family and for your dad.

Please keep coming back to us in any of the groups to keep us informed and let us give you the support that you need.

Hope that sleep has found you and that both you and dad have a peaceful night.

Ian

FormerMember over 6 years ago

Bay Arabian

Hi - I also just want you to know that your post was read, and that I'm sending you love and strength as hard as I can. I know what you're going through must be the hardest thing ever - keep yourself and your own needs in the forefront your mind, as well as your Dad's.

Much Love.

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Me and My Dad and his Brain tumor pacman