B*gger. This makes three groups for me. As some may know, I just had my second chemo for stage 4 secondary breast cancer with lymph/liver mets yesterday.
Today, my 69 year old dad told me he has bowel cancer. He had his first - now this is very vague because he's not one for reading what he's been given or listening to what he's been told - tablet and injection today. His leaflet says his hair may fall out and he's to keep away from small children and babies so I'm assuming this is chemotherapy. He thinks it's early but I'm not so sure.
I can't go and see him because a) he's made up his mind to clear off to his caravan first thing tomorrow and b) on Tuesday when he was diagnosed he popped in to see his little brother who's also in the hospital with pneumonia.
This is just so puzzling to me - he's not senile but he's eccentric and has been since I was a little girl. Manages on his own, but the other day I was trying to get him to d/l a gmail app for his phone and he told me he'd do it the next day because it was 9pm and Google might not be there at this time of night. Such things are a regular occurrence. So he's not the most logical or focused person in the world. That in mind, he spent four weeks on and off in hospital last year on oxygen - this began as coughing up blood and then having really low oxygen levels.
They put his discharge down as pneumonia but said it wasn't - they had to put something so he could go. He had no temp or anything. Lung biopsies were all ok, apparently. He's still not breathing well now but has put the whole episode down to a water infection. I and you know that we don't urinate from our lungs so as with many other things, I decided it wasn't worth arguing or trying to get to the bottom of it. I'd spent a fortnight explaining/arguing that breathing OUT properly was as important as breathing in to avoid organ failure but it was only when he told a nurse about my "daft idea" and the nurse told him I was correct that he listened. He still doesn't fully believe it, though.
When he was in with this, his neverending request was for milk. When I went into his bathroom to locate toiletries, he had a virtually empty bottle of peppermint cordial in his bathroom - this isn't usual. He swears he doesn't have indigestion, though.
He didn't think it was any of the hospital's business that his dad and brother both died of respiratory cancers, along with his grandfather. My mum was his third cousin (long story - they didn't know until i did the family tree) and she and her grandparents all died of lung cancer. His cousin also died of lung cancer. Another brother died of an unknown cancer. Many early deaths throughout his tree - causes unknown.
He drinks. The doctor asked him how much per day and he told him truthfully "a pint". Didn't mention that it was a pint of brandy.
He's lost five stone and shrunk an inch - he can afford to lose it but still - as his diet hasn't changed and he still thinks bacon and fried egg are a daily necessary food group, this is concerning.
From his description, I think he's had a bone scan and ct scan and says they were clear but ten minutes with my dad and you know he doesn't take things in or listen carefully. It may even be possible that the doctor thought he couldn't handle a full picture - I don't know. I'm as mad as hell at him for not telling me about this and letting me go with him to at least get the gist of what he was being told but he says he didn't want to worry me until he knew I was through this chemo and to be fair, he's not fully in the picture about the severity of my own illness - he is under the impression this is curable like last time was supposed to be (15 years ago). I thought I'd probably outlive him and saw no need to give him the full chapter. I wasn't telling him at all but this is a small town and whilst he was in his caravan he heard from two people that I looked bad before I even got chance to be fully in the picture myself.
I had a point - I think! Oh yeah - does anyone think this lung/breathing thing was related/ early warning symptom? Since my mum died, we've both been wary of illness and the C word so we tiptoe around this and I can't ask him - indeed, I don't think he entirely knows or understood - he says it's curable but I don't know. I feel so bad - I'm all he has but I don't have the energy or strength for this and I'm worried he's gone to Skegness so as not to put on me - he does love it there though and itches to get back there whenever he can.
Oh well - it's off my chest a bit now - if you read this far, thank you and I wish you all strength with your own battles and loved ones.
hi , welcome to this group though sorry to read about every thing going through your family.
It does sometimes seem so unfair that things seem to come along to kick you when you have more than enough to deal with already and then we get in to a mess when we start to worry about what other people can cope with about our story. I am sure your story might give your dad some concern but perhaps if you could find a way to share you might find some truth in the saying of a trouble shared is a trouble halved - I know there have been times when I have broken down in tears in the shower thinking about what might be but I got help by doing a living with less stress course.
Glad you found your way here and hope that taking the time to share with people who simply understand because we have all been there is helpful..
<<hugs>>
Steve
