Not again

Hi Soundgirlrocks welcome to the forum I am so sorry to hear about all that is happening you and what has happened for you in the past. It can be hard not to let the past influence the future but treatments have moved on so much and many many people go on to live fill and fulfilling lives.

There seems to be a lot of uncertainties at the moment and that can be a scarey time for you all.

Do you know the type of Cancer yet as there are different support groups that I could direct you to and people on there who can offer very specific support for you as you face the future and support your mum through this as well as support for yourself to ask any questions you might have which you maybe dont want to ask your mum.

Hope thats making sense Ive been known to ramble!!!!!!

Meantime Im sending you some huge big hugs.  xxxxxxxx

Hi Soundgirlrocks, I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I completely understand that it feels so unfair. I am in a very similar situation, lost my mum to very aggressive lymphoma 14 years ago (she was 49) and now Dad has been diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer. I know it’s difficult to not let our past experiences influence how we feel now, but we have to try. It’s such early days with your mums diagnosis, and as cliched as it sounds, you just have to take it a day at a time. I don’t have any words of wisdom I’m afraid, I just wanted you to know you’re not alone. And it’s not fair, I agree. I have spent most of day bursting into tears, but tomorrow the sun will come up and it’ll be another day, and I’ll jusy support my dad as best I can, and I know you can do the same for your mum x

Thank you both, we now have a few more answers. Its rectal cancer and following tests its looks like early stages, she isn't going to have to have pre operative radio therapy and will have surgery in the next few weeks. Because of the position it looks like a she will need a colostomy bag, we don't know yet if she will have chemo after the surgery. So feeling much more positive. 

Mum had surgery and a colostomy and it had spread to local lymph nodes so 8 sessions on chemo followed, she finished her chemo in January, however her blood markers were still high and this week the oncologist has said there is another tumour so we are now waiting on a PET scan.

I feel so helpless, I know it doesn't look good. Part of me wants to ask about time scales, I was naïve with dad an thought we would have longer and I'm scared of the same thing happening. I'm trying not to make any rash decisions but the thought keeps crossing my mind that I need to do something.

I'm thing about moving to be closer (I'm in London mum is in Linc's), although I have no idea about what I would do for work. In the next moment I'm thinking my partner and I should start trying for children sooner rather than later, I know mum desperately wants grandkids (and of course we want kids as well).

I'm all over the place tbh and trying to keep it together for mum. She doesn't want any of us to look at the statistics  - she is not a statistic, and I know there is no predicting how things are going to pan out but I feel like I can't make a decision about anything atm because I don't know what is going to happen.