Having a bad day

Tell you what Jenny, I'll do a hit on Auntie. It won't be free though, you have to return the favour by doing a hit on wimpy son!!!

When I spoke to his brother he'd been ill. So I don't want to push him. He has a lot of problems after a botched hip replacement 6 years ago. As for rest of the family they're a complete waste of space!! I realise I'm making excuses for them but it's true!!

Hugs

Xxx

Dear all inc Dzmet - notifications not coming through so highly happy to see them all at once. Like watching 6 episodes of Greys back to back ! Except this is real.  I sometimes feel like meredith although im a bit more arizona with both legs.  Then a lovely msg from new person to me, i forget that some people may read out posts and not comment. Its a lovely realisation that our honest output might just might allow others to feel ok about cursing, sadness, pain, horror, disbelief and of course, the one which had clean run away for a while, laughter! sue, i was in treacle for a while before mummy passed and i hope post flatteninf wimpy son and The aunt it will feel runnier. Jenny, how bery dare anyone else mention your dear mothers fate, its the fate for us all at some time but mid battle its like saying 'you know you are going to lose'! Elenium, how is mum now at the home. Is her care better now? Is GS still with you? My sister has been the 'fucking saviour, stepping in and doing all the things ive nurtured for months and months' i want to stamp on her bare feet with stilletoes in! Hey maybe 3 for the price of two! I really do think if you all often. Went to Kings Road today, had a lovely lunch, cldnt concentrate on lunch. Found a new drink, had a sussex donkey. Vodka, ginger beer and lime. Bloody gorgeous. Trying to organise mums funeral but sister uninterested and brother remote. Im off to our cottage in Cornwall (its like a womb and mum loved it) for 4 days. All that hard work and we never see it.

Diziet bless you for taking time out to support me and encourage or help dispell the guilt. Maybe its all denial? May you continue a positive journey meandering and stumbling through the cloud of grief x

Xxx

Having a very bad day today.  I've been with mum all day.  She's so weak now.  She hardly eats or drinks anymore.  She's really confused.  She didn't know where she was today and when I told her she asked why she was there.  I just said it was because she'd broken her wrist.  Then she was telling me to open the curtains.  I told her it was dark out and she asked why the window over there was sunny - she meant the TV.

I hate it! It's so horrible seeing her like this.  I got home and just sobbed. I want it to be over but I don't want her to go.

Oh elenium its so distressing, just checking its not an infection as well?  I remember those feelings so well. Its a nightmare but there will be golden nugget times too - special close moments. Savour every minute. Can you do a manicure and get her hair done - huge hugs x

Elenium if it is infection and they can sort it she may be less confused. Mum was bizarrely behaved as was becoming septic...until antibiotics kicked in.

I hate all this....nightmare existence. 

Hope she has better day next time you're there.

Jx

Maisiemae you were just up the road from me today in the King's Road!!! I'm not too far over Battersea Bridge when I'm at mine that is. I didn't leave my flat today though. Am back to my parents tomorrow morning. 

Jx

My heart aches reading about your mum Elenium it's just so crap it's all crap this bloody disease look at what it does to the victim and then us! The carer the loved one the only one who was arsed to be involved when it got tough, (you choose which one you are I was all of them and guess you are too!) 

You hate it I know, you want it to end,I know but at the same time you don't want her ever to go!? I had those exact feelings and felt the guilt of having them and I am holding your hand because it's all I can do for you just like you all held mine with my beloved Jill . 

I went to Anthropologie my favourite shop, wanted a faux fur stole but sold out. We drove through Battersea! Madness. One day. Love to you and ma & pops x