Having a bad day

Dear Elenium

Don't feel guilty (sad is another matter).

As we go through life, our needs and desires change, yes, even at the end of life .

Perhaps your mother feels the need for more support and security than even you can give her.

Perhaps she wants to give you some love and care in return for all that you have given her, by relieving the pressure on you.

Whichever it is, or whatever it is, all you can do is continue to love and support, even if that means at this stage letting go a little.

I hope you can find some peace this Christmas 

Much love

Niobe

Thank you Jenny and Niobe.  

I know that it's the right decision and I expect that mum's fall has really shook her and made her realise that she would be better with someone constantly there to help.  I do also think that she has made this decision as much for me as for herself. 

I'm feeling a bit more positive now.  I'm glad I went to work.  I managed to think about other things for a while.

On my way home and now and will go to see mum.  I'm off tomorrow too now so I can be around to make sure the transfer to the nursing home goes smoothly.

Hugs to all X

I'm so tired of being scared...

Know I'm not the only one.

Hug to all.

Jx

Oh im scared too. Mum now in hospital bed at home, driver fitted tomorrow. I will have her in my arms again tomorrow. Lets all hold hands x

Elenium. I wish you well seeing mum into her hotel with great care. You have been amazing, she will still need you just you will be doing different things with her xxx

Thank you maisiemae.

I went to see mum earlier and she was wide awake the whole time I was there - she's normally fallng asleep all the time - and was smiley and chatty.  Haven't seen her like this for ages. And her pain is not so bad.

I know this is really stupid but I've just watched an episode of Greys Anatomy where there was a bit about how terminally ill patients get a short period where they seem really well before they go completely down hill.  I don't know if that's a real thing or not but now I'm worried that this is what is happening with mum. Bloody fictional medical programmes! 

Oh ive just finished S12! Keep seeing 'msgs' in them. Your mum seems content, pain free, chatty, eating. Enjoy it with her, seize the moments... You are again her daughter not super carer. Lots of cuddles and maybe giggles. Be a bit naughty together or whatever you did BC (before cancer). Xxx

Maisiemae think that's great advice I need to hear too...Mum has scary things worrying us but right this moment seems to have little pain.  Must enjoy this.

Dad in pain but hopefully it should improve tomorrow  (dialysis does this).

Bit of a sleepless night ahead as she's wobbly.

Jx

Hello all you lovely ladies caring for your Mums,

Please don't be scared, I know every case is different, but from my experience, the end is strangely not scary. My Mum's passing was very peaceful, because we had the right care for her, as I know you all have. Her quality of life was not good, so we were almost pleased that she was at peace (I know, I still wonder how I coped, but I did). Also, not to alarm you, but if you are like me you want to know everything! It is true that people do rally, have moments of clarity etc. towards the end. This can happen many times, tho. As I said I don't want to worry you, and it is good to make the most of these times. Making precious memories, and having no regrets about what you did, they were some of the things I found helped me.

Take care, Anneteresa

Oh im talking to myself too! Mums tomorrow, hospital bed, 2 hourly injections, driver due. In a weeny little room with funny bed and squeaky floorboards, her husband i cant stand, Away from partner for xmas first time in over 25 years... So i have to suck it up.... My siblings havent! I so know i will make mum smile. Ive missed her so. Been away 3 days. Im so scared. She  Isnt. I feel very very alone. We all know whats ahead but lets try to not bring the feeling forwards xxx