Having a bad day

I would like to know yes I need to prepare my self for this terrible thing that’s going to happen . I have already lost my beautiful mom we used to go shopping together on holidays texting and phoning all the time and that as now all stopped . I just can’t belive how bad she as got she is sleeping all the time but she is getting up and going downstairs when she as visitors which I suppose is good to see her do . I feel a sadness deep down in my belly that is never going away I can’t seem to look forward only back wards . 

sending hugs to all that need it x

Mom as been over taking the morphine that’s why she as been so drunk like . Any way they have taken all that of her and she as the morphine patches that gets changed once a week . I’m hoping this will keep the pain away . We did go out today and she met her friends but she said she will not go out again all she wanted to buy was a bloody pedal bin lol . 

The McMillan nurse as told me to get a sick note as I’m not coping very well . So I am thinking of doing that Friday my head was a mess when I got in I’m having to sort my dad out with is inr he is just oblivious to all that mom is going through he is leaving her upstairs on her own for hrs I can’t understand that . Why does he not want to be with her ! 

My other son is coming to see her with his wife who is a nurse tomorrow so she will like that 

hugs to all xx 

Mom is mostly in bed now she was not very good yesterday she as a pain in her side and she is Weeing not  very much at all . I’m trying to get more water inside of her. She said she feels a little depressed I can understand that ! . The morphine patch is working ok but she is supposed to get a tablet to top it up when the pain is bad well we can’t get hold of this tablet it will be a week tomoow I have been trying . Going back to the dr today fingers crossed I can get something sorted! 

I am of work now so it’s a little easier for me and dad still as a infection in is leg . 

Hoping she is a little brighter today I think she as given up

Hi Michelley,

I felt like that about mum at times and then she would rally. She went on like that for a while.

I'm glad you've got some time off work. You need it. I also had counseling. It's not for everyone but it really helped me. I went before and after mum died.

I'm going to put how it was at the end. So stop reading now if you don't want to know.

Towards the end mum couldn't eat. She said it was because she wasn't hungry or the food didn't taste right but it was because she didn't have the energy. She slept a lot and was often 'away with the fairies' when she was awake. The last couple of days her voice started to get quieter and quieter. We knew then that it wouldnt be long. It was exactly the same with my father in law.

In the end mum couldn't take her medication because she couldn't swallow. I asked them to put her on a driver - I think that's what it's called - because I didn't want her to have anymore pain. The same night the home called me to come in because they didn't think it would be long. It wasn't. 

Sending you a big hug. X

Thank you for all that and the warning I did read it all and it’s very similar. Dad said she was bad this morning then I called the house and got the answer machine and her lovely voice I was shocked for a moment then remembered it was a recording . She was awake when I got up there with her tablets and her pain was a 2 out of 10 and yesterday it was a 7 so it’s a lot better today . We lay on the bed and watch the tv she likes the love boat . She is wanting to sort her finances out but she as not yet spoke about her wishes after only that she wants me to have a ashes ring so she can be with me forever. She is not eating anything I did her a skin peel today and creamed her legs she said it was very painful for her on her legs . 

She needs the toilet seat hiring and a rail on her bed that’s my Next jobs to do 

thank you x

Have you had a conversation about what she wants for her funeral? Mum and i spoke about it once and then never again. It's a hard conversation to have but best to have it, I'm afraid.

My friend's mum died quite suddenly and they'd never had that conversation. She's had to guess. She didn't know what music her mum wanted, if she wanted flowers or not. It has made a difficult situation even worse.

It's horrible to have to think and talk of these things but necessary.

X

Yes I know what she wants a cremation and she wants me to have a ashes ring so she can be with me forever. I can’t ask If she wants flowers or what music it’s to painful I’m hoping dad as done that . She was poorly today we managed to change her bed but she didn’t want a shower she was 2 week she did make us laugh today though she was on about the tea cake person who ever that is lol I have got the bed side bar coming on Friday afternoon and the physio on Monday regarding the toilet seat . Why is it such a long drawn out illness I don’t want to see her suffer any more her pain level was a 7 Today a big jump from a 2 st Luke’s coming on the 30th fingers crossed they can help her with the pain x

hugs to all x

It is horrible seeing your mum like that, I know. I hope something can help her pain.

Big hug to you.

X

Mom as taken a turn for the worse she actually fell in the bathroom and was there a few hrs dad couldn’t hear her . When he found her she was cold and he managed to get her in bed . Last night she needed the toilet and it took him 2 hrs to try and get her back in bed he rang me at 5am I went up and I thought this is it . Got the nurses involved and we now have a bed downstairs rutund and a slider and a commode . And a nurse to come in over night for 2 nights then she will be assessed again after that 

the tears as fell Today I can tell you the dr came and asked her regarding her pain and she said it was under control! 

This is so bad she did manage a shower sat down but it knocked her for six 

sending hugs x

Oh Michelley, that's awful. My mum had a fall and was on the floor all night. It's terrifying.

Your mum sounds bit like mine. My mum wouldn't tell the doctor about things. I used to talk to the palliative care nurse and she sorted it all out. She was so good. Has your mum got a dedicated nurse that you could speak to about her pain?

X