Having a bad day

My youngest daughter (she's 17) has a little doll that sat on mum's bed.  She'd had it forever.  It has not left my daughter's hand since she got it.  She doesn't say much but she's missing my mum badly.  When mum was at home my daughter popped in to see her practically every day.  My eldest daughter is trying to be brave for me but I know that she is suffering too. It's just shit. 

My friend sent me some daffodils today.  Mum loved daffodils because they are so cheery.  I picked up the phone to tell mum and then realised. Crappy, crappy day.

Elenium know it's awful.

I wanted to ask mum what kind of flower was in a bunch delivered here.  Just found a table cloth for the funeral that she had ironed a few months ago sitting on her perching stool.

It's all vile. 

Sm getting awful flashbacks of her last days.

Trying to sleep now.

Night jx

Night Jenny.  Sleep well. X

Jenny on the 27th I will have a glass of Italian prosecco with my restaurant manager, I run and am the head chef of two Italian restaurants  so that will be a pleasure to do on this occasion 

Sleep well x

I never said anything earlier when posting but this place is the only place you can let it all out....so not connected to the tragedy in your present situation but my beloved poppy our faithful beautiful dog died in my arms at the vets on Friday morning I had to have her torture ended she was so unwell with a heart problem that had manifested itself over the past few days 

So this is it! My wife and my dog have gone my home was empty when I came in tonight, just me and it's so hard and I don't like it it's shit really shit , sorry, and I do hope that my belief that we will all meet again in a better place will be realised and that Jill opened her door to that lovely little white collie with the black face and loving eyes 

Heartbroken again .....I know she was a dog and this is not the place and I apologise for that but my misery is complete and you lovely people will not judge , just understand 

Thinking of you all x

Hello Yantibee,

I am so sorry to hear about Poppy ( how much can we suffer ), hopefully this is the last for you. I would like to think she has gone to keep your lovely Jill company. When my daughter had a stillborn baby it gave us great comfort to think my Mum was waiting for her, and would look after her. No matter what you believe, and I am not religious, though brought up a Catholic, I find these thoughts reassuring.

Take care, Anneteresa

Hello all you lovely ladies, and gentleman,

I have been following your posts for the last few days, although not posted myself. What you have all been going through is so awful, and my heart goes out to you. I went through similar, nearly 11years ago now, with my Mum. 6th March 2006, she died. Your stories are so so familiar, it makes me weep, I have an inkling of what you are going through. Maisiemae sounds great what you did at Mum's funeral, I couldn't speak. Jenny and Elenium, you have still to go through that, you will be in my thoughts on the 27th and 28th. I still have the feelings of sadness for the loss of my Mum, and Mothers Day is particularly hard, but life goes on, as I am sure you will find eventually. Be kind to yourselves.

Take care, Anneteresa

Oh Yantibee so sorry you've lost Poppy too am sure she will be with Jill they will look after each other. How many tears is it possible to cry? Awful for you. I hope you're looking after yourself. 

My Mum loved everything Italian so you would have been very popular with her. 

Jx

Dearest Yantibee. Dear sweet collie Poppy. Please dont apologise, dogs are fur children and an integral part of ones life. How thankful i am that we have the choice with our beloved pets. My mum asked for the vet for herself a few times. Maybe just maybe they are happy together pain free. I only thought of your poppy today on drive to Cornwall. Was going to ask. Im sorry you feel so alone at home. ive a beautiful Inuit saying to share but need to remember it. Maybe tomorrow. X

Jenny, where did your mum fall in love with everything Italian? Is your father Italian? I imagine your mum to be so elegant x