I am now NED. I was diagnosed exactly a year ago with uterine cancer stage 3.
My husband and I were due to marry a month later.
So we were married and it was wonderful and then it all began.
Full open hysterectomy and lymph nodes removed. 12 days in hospital.
10 weeks recovery with multiple infections. Chemo started on 30/12, infections and hospital admissions. Then in April 25 sessions of pelvic radiotherapy and 2 sessions of bracytherapy.
I finished treatment on May 8th. Then found out I have Lynch syndrome.
Other than losing most of my hair ( I cold capped) I looked well.
I was ecstatic when the treatment ended. But now… wow it is so hard. I cry several times a day. I hate how I look. Still growing out my hair ( it was very long and thick).
I feel so unsure of everything. I cannot yet work full time ( and to be honest I don’t really want to). However, I am the main earner and our finances have been wrecked by this. Work is very demanding ( secondary teacher) and have had a brief phased return- 4 weeks. It all feels like too much to deal with.
I feel as if I should be happy all the time as I’ve survived the disease and horrid treatment, but I am not. Everything is such an effort. I went to the Hope Course which was helpful but now that’s over, I feel quite lost. I know that starting with the menopause will be bringing some of these issues ( I can’t have her either), but just want to feel strong, confident and capable again. Will I ever feel like my old self? I feel like she has gone forever, and I don’t really like this new sad, damaged, scared person I have become.
I saw my Gp who told me that I need to be more optimistic! And prescribed anti depressants.
Thinking of therapy- Have any of you had therapy through MacMillan? Did it help you?
