I know I come here alot when I'm down but I'm down alot and have no one. I dreed getting up each day the weather is bad even if it wasnt I dont want to go out as I cant afford to get sick this close to starting treatment . I am all over I dont know how to feel. I feel angry, disappointed, scared , like a failure I just dont know. This sitting around all the time waiting and no one to wait with .. I'm so lonely and sad I just dont know.. I dont know how to feel or who to talk to.
They say call the support line and talk but that really doesnt help any to be honest . Sometimes I just wish I'd not wake up. I know that sounds horrible but I just dont know anymore. I dont feel I have any friends that arent online none of my family are here just my kids and they have lifes and the 2 that are at home.well ones a gamer and the other we dont get alone with each other. I just want to feel normal or something close to it. Cant go out cause may get chest infection and if that happens i want get treatment started.. i feel like it's a losing battle no matter what i do.
Can you try and distract yourself? Something with your hands? Play the Sims maybe? You’ve done so well so far. But just sitting there gives too much time to think so it’s best to try and do something. Keeping yourself occupied with something might help.
Sarah xx
Hopefully that will help pass the time for you. Anything to take your mind off things is good. Do you have any hobbies? Do you like to read? I’ve had a duvet day today, but I’ve spent my time catching up on some tv, checking on groups I’m in online, sending messages. I never just sit/lie and think because I know that’s not really helpful for me.
Sarah xx
Hi Brandie
A bit delayed in my response as we’ve come away for the weekend. Turns out the weather is much better down south!
Sometimes when the grass looks greener it maybe isn’t but it can be hard not to be envious of those who appear to sail through life without issues. Maybe things are not quite as perfect behind closed doors but they are careful not to let anyone see that.
I don't actual see cancer as a punishment but I do have the belief that we are here to learn lessons in this life.
Sarah xx
Morning Brandie
It was only one night away and had its challenges as I live with 2 stomas, so it wasn’t easy. I was exhausted when we got home, so went straight to bed. So things might not always be as good as they sound! But I did appreciate being out of the house as I’m disabled and completely housebound without help to go out.
Being alive is my reason to keep going. I appreciate how lucky I am to still be here after several times when I almost wasn’t. So I’m grateful to wake up each day.
Sarah xx
