Recent shock after being told cancer is to prolong life not curable

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Last week told this and I feel I need therapy/treatment to deal with this before properly engaging with alternative therapies, healing etc . (I know not everyone can be cured in this way but I have to have faith in something)

Anyone tried any specific counselling/treatment for shock?  I feel I was told this news quite insensitivity and it keeps hitting me when Im trying to switch off, meditate/try positive thinking techniques. It's like going through the experience on repeat.

  • Hi  and welcome to the Community. I know full well the feeling of being told about having an incurable blood cancer...... that was me over 24 years ago.... the amazing thing is when it looked like all my options were running out...... the next new treatment came along.

    The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) but you don’t say what type of cancer you have but if you care to have a look through THIS LIST you will find all our many dedicated cancer support groups listed. These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from members who are navigating the same journey.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre..... I found the support available to be amazing.

    Macmillan have also teamed up with BUPA to offer up to 6 free counselling sessions for people struggling emotionally because they are living with cancer. Clicking on the link will give you more information about this.

    It’s a challenging time for you so you may want to use the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.

    Do have a look and see what support fits in with you at the moment.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi there I'm in the same boat.  I'm generally a positive thinking person but this has hit me for 6!!

    I'm retired, live with my husband and 2 dogs. 

    I asked the doctor if he could refer me to  any alternative therapies and dietician but was told to ask hospital which ill di today when i go for my pre assessment.

    Will be in touch again 

    Wish you all the very best xx

  • Hi  and  I was diagnosed with an incurable blood cancer over 24 years ago but we have always found the next treatment….. I found getting the space between my ears under control was a very important first step.

    Talking with others who are navigating the incurable journey can help so you may want to join our dedicated Living with incurable cancer - incurable patients only (Please join the group but for everyones safety this will then have to be approved by the Macmillan Community Team so will not happen immediately) as it’s a place where honest discussion can be done safely and where people share their strategies.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

    Macmillan have also teamed up with BUPA to offer up to 6 free counselling sessions for people struggling emotionally because they are living with cancer. Clicking on the link will give you more information about this.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Thank you. Lots to think about. Been offered counselling but not till after radiotherapy starts . there is a Macmillan centre next to where I'm getting treatment whichi intend to go to. 

    I have a rare form of thyroid cancer called anaplastic.

    Feeling calmer now and feel like the initial shock has abated . On reflection I feel the information was delivered very bluntly and we had no Macmillan nurse present to talk it through with.

    I appreciate they have to tell you the facts as they see them but there are ways of delivering bad news and the oncologist didn't seem to have those skills.

    I'm also feeling more hopeful with the help of the many positive thinkers I have met who have given me ideas on how to take control of my life. I believe in the power of the mind helping the body to heal and also adjusting diet to give myself the best chance possible to get through this. 

    'You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice '

    Bob Marley 

  • Hi Chris

    Thanks for replying. 

    I hope you find a path that is right for you to get you through this. 

    I am trying just about anything from mindfulness, yoga and meditation to seeing a healer. Spending as much time as possible doing things that make me happy - friends, family nature,  funny telly , fantasy books work for me.I recommend making a list 

    You might not always feel like it but making plans to meet people and taking control of my pathway has really helped. 

    read about nutrition too. I was recommended this one (bit of a scary title I know)

    'How not to die, discover the foods scientifically proven to prevent and reverse disease'

    by Greger, Michael

    And this

    Living Proof, A Medical Mutiny

    by Gearin-Tosh, Michael

    Peace and love

    Xx

  • Hi again  ...... I like your Bob Marley quote....... I do like a good quote.... they help to focus the mind.

    I hear more and more about people like yourself being given their cancer diagnosis without a Specialist Cancer Nurse (SCN. - Macmillan or others) being in the room for the patient to then be able to talk things through at at the end of the appointment.......  as more than often consultants are very focused and tunnel thinkers and not looking at the whole person..... it actually took me to be 14 years into my journey before I was assigned a SCN as my hospital did not fund the positions in every department. It's up to hospitals to one take up the offer of SCN posts from the likes of Macmillan and then to keep the posts going after the intal 2 year commitment.

    We as a family had a clear view that there was always hope until hope ran out........ and 24 years on this is still ringing true...... we had our ups and downs (you can see that in my story) but we never lost sight of the ability to weather the storms that came along and come out the other end standing up.

    All the very best.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi Niffer

    I'm in a similar position and unfortunately the same thing happened with me. News broken to me very abruptly and insensitively. Certainly some NHS staff need training in people skills. I have since changed consultant which was straight forward. 

    I'm trying my best to take it one day at a time but it is very hard indeed. Trying to meet up with friends as much as possible and plan little things to look forward to. Watching a lot of things on itvx and BBC iPlayer that take my mind off things. 

    Thinking of meditation if that's something you think might help I don't know if you are aware but if you go to the Penny Brohn website ( sure with advice information etc on cancer related things) you can get a link to get the app Headspace for free. This app has talks, meditations, music. Might be worth a look.

    Best wishes

    Sue