Toxic Positivity

I had some stupid person say " can't you fight it ????" What the hell does she think we're doing ? The mind boggles .

I only told Family and very close friends....until recently I did a birthday fundraiser for pancreatic  cancer,  and raised £1027 .00 , just with friends and family, I was so pleased. 

Hi I kind of get what you say but like you say it's difficult for them to find the right things to say, it's hard for them too. I think being positive is a good thing well it is for me but understand it's not for some who prefer to deal with it on their own

Hi Mart1. I laughed and grimaced when I saw your phrase "toxic positivity." It summarises how I felt about some reactions to my cancer diagnosis from close family and friends, who I thought should know better. At the time, I was too upset to call it out. I was already upset by my diagnosis and couldn't handle unhelpful reactions. It added to my sense of isolation and loneliness. Luckily, I found a Maggie's Centre, where kind people listened to me and never told me to be positive. In fact, one of the staff told me they have banned the phrase "be positive." 

Months later, the same member of staff said they would like to run courses for family and friends of cancer patients, to help them be alongside their loved ones in their hour of need. If you haven't had cancer, it's very difficult to understand what it's like and to know how to be supportive. I look back and wince at some of the ways I didn't help friends with cancer. 

I think you're right: people mean well, but ... Well done you, for gently helping them learn the error of their ways ! We want our families and friends to be there for us, and they want that, too. 

I hope you and your partner are getting lots of support now.