Anxiety feels like it’s been my biggest demon, it’s particularly bad when I’m due an appointment with the consultant, even though she’s lovely, my mind wanders and I talk myself into it being bad news. The worst thing is that a lot of the time I know it’s anxiety, but I’ve talked myself into such a hole I can’t reset my brain into thinking anything different. An example of a couple months back I was due a review with consultant and on the morning of appointment I woke up with really distorted vision. Had the appointment, and literally 10 minutes into the drive home (I wasn’t driving!!!) my vision cleared up. My anxiety started in earnest New Year’s Eve as I have an important scan this week then consultant appointment a couple weeks after for results. I’ve convinced myself it’s spread and can’t get out of the mental hole. My husband doesn’t particularly understand. Anyone with tips?
My amazing Specialist Cancer Nurse of many years told me something very helpful early on…… The ‘cancer anxiety train’ is always sitting in the station....... but we can only get on it if we go to the ticket office and get a ticket....... don’t go in the queue and get a ticket….. and that has worked in my 23 years journey with my incurable blood cancer.
I found this article very helpful
What Is Scanxiety and How Can You Manage It?……. Choose Hope
The first time you read or hear it, “scanxiety” may look and sound like a funny word. However, when you are going through it, there is nothing funny about this very real condition. From the first MRI following a doctor’s suspicious discovery during a routine exam to the annual PET scan years after an initial diagnosis, the fear and worry that accompanies imaging appointments can take a significant toll on your emotional and mental wellbeing.
Fortunately, you can take steps to minimise and cope with the sometimes-overwhelming emotions you feel.
Acknowledge your Feelings
Don’t try to ignore the way you feel, as this can actually increase your anxiety. Instead, recognise and even embrace your scanxiety. This first step empowers you to take action, move forward and manage your emotions, helping you find peace and feel more in control of your own life.
Talk about It to the Right People
Venting your fears and frustrations to people close to you can be a wonderful way to release stress and gain vital support. However, if you have folks in your life who tend to exacerbate your worries or load you up with even more concerns (and really, who doesn’t have that one friend or family member?), avoid sharing too much with them.
Practice Mindful Living
Ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said, “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” Look for ways to live in the moment. Hug your little boy and inhale deeply, noting the mingled fragrance of fresh earth and shampoo. Stroke your husband’s face and think about the way his soft stubble brushes your hand. Savour a particularly flavourful meal. Relish in the here and now.
Distract Yourself
Find ways to take your mind off the upcoming scan, at least for a while. Dig into a novel or binge watch a series that completely engrosses you. Turn up your favourite music and tackle a chore you’ve been putting off for too long. Hang out with that one friend who has a gift for making you laugh. Schedule some time to enjoy your favourite hobby without interruption. If you have trouble letting go, imagine setting your worries in a “to do later” box and tell yourself you can pick them up when you’re done.
Ask Questions
Sometimes, the unknown is the greatest instigator of anxiety. If you are unclear about anything – from what to expect during the scan, to when and how you can expect to receive your results, to what those results might mean - don’t be afraid to ask your doctor. Having a well-defined understanding of what you will or might experience allows you to be better prepared and can even ease your mind.
Plan for the Worst Outcome… (I have relapsed multiple times)
Along with knowing what could possibly come of your scan, creating a strategy for the worst case scenario can improve your sense of control. By no means should this be perceived as giving up or being resigning yourself to bad news. Cancer can make you feel powerless, but creating a basic action plan just in case can help you regain your power as well as your optimism.
…but Visualise the Best (I have had many appointments that were good news)
Your mind is more powerful than you might realise. Visualisation and guided imagery have been shown to improve your mood, control symptoms or side effects and even boost your immune system. Imagine yourself receiving great news after your scan. Allow yourself to experience the feelings of relief, gratitude and elation. Think about these things as though you are remembering them. Seeing it in your mind’s eye can give you the encouragement you need to overcome your scanxiety.
Obviously to ‘talk’ with the right people you may need to look for outlets so do check our Telephone Buddy Service where you can be matched with someone who understands what you're going through, and they'll give you a weekly call.
Do also check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Cancer can turn our world upsides down so it’s important to take control so that your cancer and everything around it is not defining you and your life…….. you need to define your life and how you live ((hugs))
I have been doing this a long time with many many ‘results days’ most were good news but a number were bad…… I could have wasted a lot of the past 23+ years of my life worrying and stressing about something I could not control…… I just learned to live in and enjoy the moment and let tomorrow take care of itself ((hugs))
The wonderful Corrie Ten Boom wrote.
Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength - carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.
