Emotions

Hi,I feel similar.My cancer was a rare aggressive type in the bladder.The bladder was removed last September and I don’t need any further treatment.I’m recovering well but still feel overwhelmed and tearful at times.I hope you will find some friendship and support on these boards.Love Jane xx

Hi and welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us.

Don't focus on what people think, you need to focus on yourself and on getting through this. I am over 4 years post treatment and even now people just do not know what I have been through and often say the post stupid things.

I t would be good for you to talking with people who are on the same journey as you so can I direct you to this link to our very supportive Breast cancer group as this will open up your concerns to a wider audience who know exactly what you are going through at the moment.

To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'join this group' on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post questions after selecting 'start a discussion' and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

It would also be useful for you to have a look his great paper as it does highlight the milestones you will be facing over the weeks and months ahead.

Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.

You may want to put some information in your profile can help a lot Click here to see how to add details as this helps everyone to see a little about you

Always around to chat.

I had similar feelings to you after finishing my treatment last May. Perhaps this isn't the most optimistic thing to say, but I found it got worse!

The problem with me is that I tried to rush back to 'normality'. I did a fairly good job at looking relatively OK post treatment. Nevertheless - and  I don't know how to describe the emotional gymnastics here -  but I simultaneously wanted people to think: 

1) I was fine , AND 2) I was still recovering. 

It's possible I alienated myself from friends; I think I probably still do... Sometimes I feel like I'm a stranger in my own body, and explaining this to friends is difficult.  I can barely understand it myself. 

I guess it takes time...

Like you, my partner is very supportive. I really don't know where I'd be without him. However, my brain is in such a spin and I can't help but worry about things like recurrence. I also worry about how he's coping with all of this. I feel unattractive. 

I don't know if any of that sounds reasonable? I think I just wanted to let you know that other people feel just as crazy/if not more so. Youre in good company x

Thank you Jane always good to know you are not the only one.  Take care xxx

Thank you so much my husband sent me the same paper it is very reassuring to know that it is a "normal" reaction.  Take Care xxx

Thank you it is always good to hear other people feel/felt the same.  I have put on lots of weight during treatment but my husband hasn't commented and thankfully my hair is growing back and I actually like it short, something I would never have been brave enough to try. Great to talk x

I would never have chopped my hair off, either. But I like short hair, too! It's funky. xx