How do others cope?

Hi 

I'm new to this group this is my first post. So I feel I need to give some background. Sorry.

I was eventually diagnosed with endometrial cancer in 2018. When I say eventually I mean that I  sought medical advice from my GP within a few days of noticing a problem. Referred to the hospital for investigations all of which were normal despite me telling them that there was a maternal grandmother with endometrial ca. I was told if my problem did not settle then to return to my GP and request some hormones. I contacted my GP after 2 months with persistent symptoms. Prescribed medication for 3 months told this would solve the problem. Went back to the GP after 3months with same problem. Informed to have another 3 month course of medication. Having had enough I went back to the GP and demanded I was referred back to the hospital. 

Diagnosed with two womb tumours one of which was endometrial. Hysterectomy and lymph node clearance. Staged at 3c. Commenced chemo but only one treatment as reacted badly so stopped. Had 28 courses of radiotherapy which was completed October 2018.

Scans all clear. So far!!!!!

Having been physically fit and well and now just over 60 years old. I have never taken any medication. 42 years working but now retired. 

I have, and still find my diagnosis such a shock to come to terms with. So much of 'if only' I had done this earlier etc. To think I will die before my husband is such an emotional struggle for me. I have never felt so alone. I have a family but all they all have their own emotional issues. My husband he never broaches the subject thinking if I ignore it the problem will just go away. What friend wants to hear about my problems? That's none. Support from Doctors non existent. Support from my named MacMillian Nurse non existent. Emotional support from Hospital Consultants non existent. They do ask how you are doing physically but never how are you doing emotionally? 

I find it difficult to sleep 2am, 3am, 4am. As at night I'm alone with my thoughts of what lies ahead. I love my life, my home, my family. 

I've asked my GP, which was the ' phone if I could go on a SSRI. Yes no problem he said I will write out a prescription. No questions asked I just said I had stage 3 cancer.

Any advice? How do others cope?