Exhausted

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Does anyone else feel so exhausted? We have been on a trail with my husbands recurrent oesophageal cancer for a full year. For a year I have battled his swallowing problems. In that time he has had a stent inserted and an intramedullary nail inserted in his femur. He spent December and January on morphine and just shuffling from kitchen to bed. He was too ill for me to leave him alone at all. Eventually radiotherapy to his hip has got him mobile with a stick. Now he has responded very well to chemo (5 months of it) but he needs laser surgery for normal tissue growth over his stent so I am back to blending food finer and finer. I have my own back injury and after a year of nursing him and my own pain, we are in a pandemic. I am frazzled. It has been a looong year. In that year I have not had any support. He is frail but I managed to get him out on our boat 2 weeks ago. But it has been a year of me going one step beyond myself and I did not bank on Coronovirus. I thought by now I would be able to get out by myself once or twice just to get a break but the pandemic has put paid to that. Sorry to moan but this only comes after a long tiring year.

Viv

LoobyLou49 over 3 years ago

Hi Tivvy and a warm welcome to Carers. Exhaustion is something I think all of us carers have, especially during lockdown. It's hell when you can't get a moment to yourself and your body is screaming for a rest. You're his rock but human rocks need time to recover and when you're not getting that it builds up. Do call the hotline if you need to chat. They're on 0808 808 0000 are open 8am-8pm and the line is manned by very understanding experts. It's not the same as getting out but you need every bit of help you can get. You're doing amazingly well and to have 'got him on our boat' is quite something. One day you'll be able to get some time outside the house, but until then, you're not alone, we're here for you.

Big hugs,

LoobyLou
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Tivvy over 3 years ago in reply to LoobyLou49

Hi Looby,

Thank you! They say all along “you must get breaks” , but that has totally gone. Not that I had any before the pandemic. But just as he was getting fit enough that I could leave him for a while and I was looking forward to some “me” time and Covid enters the fray. This has been a very long year of blending food etc..

But up and onwards .

Viv

June26 over 3 years ago in reply to Tivvy

I was a bit like you feeling exhausted and now my husband is in hospital for a blood transfusion and they have found he has a chest infection so that n theory I have time for myself but it is awful. Just worrying about him and what will happen next. I understand the stress of blending everything it is hard. I am sorry I can’t offer anything other than understanding of your situation. Take care

Tivvy over 3 years ago in reply to June26

Thank you for understanding. I am sorry for your worry and I do understand it. It is a total roller coaster of emotion. My husband has a hospital stay coming up as they intend using laser surgery on his throat and I am worrying already. He lost so much weight last November as the hospital menus did not cater for someone with swallowing difficulties . He can not afford any more weight loss. Take care yourself and try and let your mind get some rest.

Viv

PS my back injury meant I had to give up driving as it got worse so I am also worrying about should I even go to the hospital. I don’t want to be an infection vector .

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Exhausted