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Looking after a loved one with cancer? This is a safe and supportive place to share your worries and emotions. Please remember when posting that this group is for Carers only.

Caring for my mum , with late stages of altzheimers and COPD , now has a lung cancer as well .. so complex feel so overwhelmed

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I my mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's  and COPD 11 yrs ago she is now 81 and at Xmas I was told she has lung cancer as well . They have classes her as terminal as her other illness are in late stages and more likely to mend life shortly than the cancer.  I have been caring for her for 11yrs and last 6 years living with family . I left my job in Feb last year as he needed full time care and it is just detieoratting on all fronts . Last Friday she was critically ill and very close to passing , she has rallied back round but her general health is very frail . I just feel so overwhelmed trying to care for her needs with the difficulty of altheimers on top .  I l9ve her dearly and want her to stay at home , but emotiaonlly just feel so drained and fearful as to how long this remains the situation . I don't mean to moan just th9ught it would be good to talk to someone who may be going through similar  

Posted by

Hi ,

It's not surprising that you 'feel so overwhelmed'. It's easy for me to say, look after yourself, but you sound so exhausted that it really is time to find some quality support and time out for yourself or you'll be ill to help as you do now. I wonder if you might look for a local Maggies Centre or other group in your area? It helps so much to have face to face support. Does your doctor know that you are a full time carer? Registering as such at the GP practise can open other support as well. The weather is foul but as soon as you can, try just popping outside and taking a deep breath of fresh air and look around at things. Try naming them, tree, cloud or whatever you see; it might sound odd but it's amazing how much it can help.

You're not moaning, you're reaching out and that has to be a good thing.

If you find dust in my house, write your name in it. When the signatures overlap I'll get the polish. 

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Posted by

Thank you so much Loobylou . I am trying to get hold of the social worker and hospice nurse to see what help or respite I can get . You are right I and my husband need to breathe and look after us as well , as both our health is suffering with the strain 

I often stand outside especially in the night , just to feel I can breathe , but will start naming things , it sounds like it would help ground me , when all is feeling outv of my control . 

Love and blessings x