Hi,
Im a 32 (f) caring for 38 (m) husband following diagnosis of head and neck cancer at the end of April. It has been a whirlwind with surgery 11 days after diagnosis, which involved half tongue removal and replacement from leg, in addition to temp trachy, learning to talk and eat again. Four week post surgery we were told the cancer had already spread to lymph nodes below the chin, so 6 weeks of radiotherapy was needed. It hasn't been easy but Im lucky, we have always worked as a team, despite the odd argument.
He only have two sessions left, and the reality of what we have gone through and the wait of what is to come is daunting. I think having been on the go for the past three months, everything is starting to sink in. Unfortunately in between all of this theres been a family breakdown, resulting in MIL being asked to leave, we are already isolated from family due to work situation so it has ultimately just been us battling this alone. In addition he sustained a leg injury prior that requires surgery but had to be postponed because of the cancer, so that surgery is still to come. Overall theres still at least the rest of this year for recovery to come.
I guess the question is, what does happen after this? We cant not acknowledge the last 3 months but how do we start to rebuild and move forward. How often are check ups, what if it comes back? We were hoping to start a family this year (3 years married), but this seems to be highly unlikely in the near future.
Feeling a little low and a bit lost at the prospect of going it alone at home, trying to rebuild our life. Any advice welcome, thank you.
Hi CC_09
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
My wife's cancer is very different to your husbands but there is some guidance on the main site here in the section after trearment that seems quite similar to what we went through.
Often people find things something like a machine while going through treatment and then their emotions can hit afterwards. Scans and waiting for results can be challenging too but it is worth rembering that quite often they will show nothing of concern but even if there was then it will be caught early.
I did a living with less stress course that really helped me. I put quite a lot of effort in to thinking about what might happen in the future and was great at coming up with all sorts of things but that would stop me apprciaitng what we have.
Do post on here whenever as someone is always listening and rememer you can ring the helpline too anytime between 8am and 8pm 7 days a week.
<<hugs>>
Steve
