After having both my parents diagnosed with stage 4 cancer within 11 days of each other at the beginning of this year. I literally feel like I am losing myself, I have 4 children 2 with additional needs as well as autism myself. I just cannot seem to process what is happening and just feel lost. Like what do I even do when im left all alone , yes im in my 30s but realistically I cannot survive without my dad. I've always had this huge fear of death and now I just dont have words to support him or myself and worry about annoying him constantly due to his treatments . Is like I have lost him before he is even gone.
Any tips to help manage and process all of this would be great as currently noone is getting the best of me.
Hi Jembob
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
It sounds like you are coping with so much and not at all surprised you are finding things difficult. My wife is the one with cancer although he has seen me in hospital more than once, he also has autism. One of the things he did manage to process at one point was his concern about what might happen if he lost me as well as his mother. Fortunatly we had arranged anyway that his uncle would adopt him and that helped give him a bit of comfort. All a bit of a while ago now though as he is now 22.
Some of what you mention sounds rather like anticipatory grief, there is a really good article on that we can read here.
We were lucky to get a lot of suppprt for our son through his schools, it was very helpful that he got a consistent story between there and home.
Do post on here whenever as someone is always listening and remember if it helps you are more than welcome to ring the helpline on 0808 808 0000 - it is open 8am to 8pm 7 days a week.
<<hugs>>
Steve
