Hes just finished his 6th folfox and 2nd pani (changed from Bev). His folfox pump was removed on Friday by district nurses. Saturday he went out for the day with his mates at the radio controlled aircraft club. On his return I asked if he had gone to sleep at all during the day. NO. Apparently he never falls asleep during a day out with his mates. Today he is at home with me and the dogs. After breakfast a huge tiredness came upon him. It is now 12:30 and he is still in bed. Me and the dogs are walking round on eggshells so as not to make a noise and incur his wrath.
We are his family, but.not good enough to stay awake for. Life is no fun at all at the moment.
Hi totally understand why u feel so alone. My partner has always stayed in bed til at least 12. I thought it was alcohol consumption since retiring that did it but since his dx I realise thatst the way he is. Now stays in bed longer 
I try to look at it as an opportunity for me. Some time to myself.
I have made sure I have other things to do. Out for walks w friends or just myself, I've also enrolled for an MA and I've done a lot over the years w a local amateur dramatics group. Together but also independently. Not so much now but have always ensured I have other interests. I'm also lucky to have a shared garden so that's a source of great joy too. I read and knit and lucky to live next to a wild water swimming reservoir which has helped me enormously w mental health and physical fitness . As well as making some new friends. 
That is what I think might give u an identity outside and help prevent or alleviate these feelings. Looking after someone if they have feelings of resentment towards you is also hard. But these feelings go up and down. I try to focus on practical help. And previous poster is right. He will project a persona when outside w friends not the same as being home and safe.
looking after urself means making and being w friends keeping healthy and brain active. Best of luck. You matter too.
