My wife has a limited time

Hi Jon I feel for you , I am in the same situation with my husband just been told . Its devastating both for them and for you. I am also very worried of whats to come.

And how to handle things , its very hard.

I’ve just joined this group and saw your post. My husband has been given 6 months and like you I am seeing deterioration. All I try and do is keep busy round the house staying in close proximity to my husband without him feeling that I’m constantly watching him although of course I am. I think I’m still processing what’s to come. I’m more scared each day as I don’t know how I’m going to cope. 

Ive been through whats happening to you with my husband. He was diagnosed with oesophagus cancer last August. He was told it was terminal within a few weeks. We were told by the consultant the 1 & only time we saw one that he would unlikely see Christmas. He died on 26th Nov. It was heartbreaking watching him deteriorate so quickly. When hubby was told he was terminal we started clearing out all our old paperwork. I went to our local undertakers & put the wheels in motion for his funeral  so he got exactly what he wanted.Everyone deals with it in their own way. When he passed the funeral was sorted very quickly although it didnt take place for another 3 weeks. I rung all the utilities & had everything changed into my name. Their bereavement teams are very helpful. The only unhelpful people I came across was the dwp. They demanded the attendance allowance back that they had paid. Considering he had paid into his state pension for over 50 years & didnt even get 2 years out of it they had already gained more than The poultry amount of attendance allowance they wanted back.

My dude was given the news on 11th November that there was nothing that could be done - so we had a cry for a few minutes then said - ok , theres nothing can be done we just need to get on with it.  And thats what we did - make every day count. 

We were lucky he never had any pain.  The last few weeks he deteriorated rapidly.  The nurses who visited were fantastic.  He passed on Thursday 16th April - it was so peaceful - it was just the two of us at home.  He kept his sense of humour to the very end - which has given me comfort.