New here & not knowing what to expect & how to react

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Reading a couple of your posts has already helped me to realise some of my husbands responses may be his way of coping with his diagnosis.  They dont want to operate because he had open heart surgery 5 years ago and probably would not survive, in addition the cancer has spread to 3 other places.  I go with him to the appointments but obviously cant ask questions like "how long"? or what to expec?    I think he started to change after his heart surgery, he has always been very stubborn, but I could in the past reason with him, now I cant.  Even if he knows he is wrong, he will still do it.  Almost like a child who is testing boundaries.  He has lost short term memory also after the heart surgery, this was to be expected apparently, but this  does not make things easy either.  Is it me, or is it part of the coping mechanism.