My 70 year old mother was diagnosed with DLBCL in early August and is currently half way through Pola R CHP. The prognosis is good, she has a great team and they are all incredibly positive about a good outcome. I have no siblings so am primary caregiver for my mother. Mentally she hasn't accepted her situation, she won't say she has cancer, she won't discuss anything medical. She won't speak with anyone who is going through or has gone through the same journey that she is on. Macmillan have been incredible and offered support on her terms but she won't engage. She has periods of weepiness where she feels bad that she's putting everything on me but won't let me bring in any help. I work full time so go over in the morning and then after work (I live almost an hour away). I'm spending every waking moment that I'm not at work trying to get her to eat, trying to get her to drink, trying to get her to move. I've tried cajoling, I've tried empathising, I've tried silent support, I've tried frank conversations and whilst she says she wants to fight it, she wants to beat it, she not doing the bare minimum to function and I have no idea how to continue. Whatever I do or say isn't reaching her and I don't know how to help her. I feel like i'm in a horrendous cycle of frustration, failure and forced positivity and I'm truly hopeful that someone here has had the same experience and can help me figure out how to get us both through these next 3 cycles and beyond.
Apologies for the word vomit and thanks in advance for any words of wisdom.
