How long can I keep going with no guilt and sadness

hi Teddycozz 

Thanks for posting, you are so right it is good to share as it helps us feel less alone.

Sometimes people will ask us how we cope, the most obvious answer we can think of it "sorry were we given a choice".

Certainly recognize the bit about crying alone, in the shower sometimes and of course then the red eyes were just down to the shampoo.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Thank you for sharing this. 
Caring for a parent with cancer (and caring for a close loved one with cancer as a whole) is one of the hardest things you can ever do. I don’t think it’s something anyone can really understand until they go through it.

We’re at the start of our journey with my mum so we’ve had tough moments where she’s had extensive surgery and required care during her recovery but things have calmed down recently while she’s undergoing chemotherapy but knowing that her cancer is advanced and that even if we get to a point of remission, cancer, or at least the worry of the cancer returning, isn’t going to go away is very difficult. It really is a rollercoaster where you’re in constant anticipation of the downturns & dips. The safety and certainty that life once had has been ripped away from you. 

Sometimes I feel like I’m coping with that okay and putting one foot ahead of the other feels more manageable, where I can even find brief moments of happiness but there are days where it all gets too much, and also days where I’m in this middle, where I can function but I feel like all the joy from life has been sucked out and I’m going through autopilot.

I want you to know that you’re not alone in this too. Being a carer can feel very lonely, but it does help to hear from others navigating similar journeys. 

I’m sure you’re doing the absolutely best you can for your mum, and she appreciates your support & care, and how much you’ve shown up for her over the last couple of years, and how you continue to do so. Sending all my love to you and your mum xx 

Hi, sounds like we are on the same journey. I am my mums only carer, I have my own family and I work full time albeit at home. This is our 5th year and the chemo finished in February and unfortunately didn’t work this time. Now we are on end of life and it is feeling a bit too raw. District nurses and hospice are great but seeing them suffer is heartbreaking. I am back n forth like a yo yo trying to manage my family, my mums needs and work. I think mum only has a few months/weeks left now if that. 

I know where you are coming from and I am sending big hugs. You are not alone. I am pretty scared as not sure what to expect in the last few weeks but I know I have to keep going sending love to all