Hello
I've recently found this site and posted in the Cervical Cancer forum but someone mentioned that I may find this forum equally as understanding and welcoming so here I am. My wife is 72 and the absolute love of my life. Incredibly shes been diagnosed three times with cancer in her life dating back to 1983 with cervical cancer which was caught early, breast cancer in 2004, again caught early, lung cancer in 2021 which resulted in a lobectomy and afterwards given the all clear, and now as a result of spotting which started in late March and tests ( blood work, x-ray, Cat-scan, MRI) the latest test, a Pet-scan has shown cancer in or around the cervix and metastasis to the femur, base of the spine, lymph nodes and possibly the sternum which was biopsied early last week but has yet gone to the MDT for final discovery of the primary. Aside from the spotting which was being investigated, up until about 3 weeks ago this woman was a picture of health running after the grandkids, doing school runs, juggling life like a 40 year old, now she looks frail, weak and a long way from that. She's going through incontinence pads with a foul smelling discharge, her iron levels are low and her bowels are impacted to the point that we've had the doctor in and she's now been given medicine for that. We're all shocked by the speed of all this and are praying the MDT can discover the primary and offer treatment. I'm trying everything in my power to stay strong for her and keep her spirits up but when the evening comes and I've got her to bed and I finally sit downstairs for an hour or so all I do is cry, my heart's broken and I'm so afraid of losing her and then it stops.....I rally the optimism, I pray and I tell myself that's it...I've got it out of my system but then without warning it starts again...the pessimism, the bewilderment, the questions, the anger, it all comes back. I hide it well while I'm seeing to her needs but then I find myself feeling guilty because I know I'm forcing the smiles and the optimism when I really want to screaming. We've been through this before but this is the first time the word metastasis has ever been mentioned and I'm so scared...I keep asking HOW could this get to this point without being picked up by her follow up exams for the lung cancer, blood tests, doctor's appointments and xrays...I'm trying to take this one day at a time but this waiting for the MDT to call us in is the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do....
Just take it one day at a time. It’s ok to feel angry, lost, bewildered, she is the love of your life. Evenings are the worst, you’re tired and feeling less optimistic. I care for my mum, ovarian cancer, 4 years now since grade 4 diagnosis, a few weeks ago we had bad news, she is weak and has had enough. It’s hard to keep optimistic when you see them going through so much. I am her only carer. No one else to help but I have become angry, sad and from what I am reading going through precipitatory grief. Just know that you are not alone and there are a lot of us out there that are working hard to make sure our loved ones are cared for. Remember we are only human so please be kind to yourself. Reach out for support when/if you are ready. You don’t have to do this by yourself. Take care of yourself.
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
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