Hi guys
I keep dipping in and out of here. I'm sorry for that, but I just feel I need to get stuff off my chest somewhere as I can't stop home.
Wife has been battling this awful disease for almost 6 years, on and off.
The last 3 years have been stage 4 and constant treatment. By that I mean chemo every 2 weeks, 6 cycles then a 6 week break - rinse and repeat.
I'm finding it very draining now and I feel so selfish, but holding down a full time job, looking after our child (who is now 6), trying to keep on top of house work, cooking... It's so hard. We get very little support from either side of the family (we are here, just ask... I hate this statement!).
We try and keep home life as normal as possible for our child therefore reluctant to just palm her off with others.
I'm starting to feel that our relationship is nothing more than co-habiting, with me being a carer. I hate this feeling but we don't live a normal life therefore how can we enjoy it? I get frustrated when I come home to the house a mess, no washing done, no tea, no food in the house because she can't go out to the shops to grab the essentials.
Treatment weeks have become her staying in bed or laid on the sofa 90% of the time.
I honestly beg the question, when does it become a time to look at Quality vs Quantity? Hardest question in the world for anyone, especially those with this disease.
With all that being said, my mental health is spiralling. I see my GP and try to attend Andy's Man Club but there's so many weeks I can't attend as I have to look after them both. I'm at the verge of just giving up.
No idea what I want from posting this, maybe for someone to tell me this feeling is normal or even that I'm a selfish bugger and need to sort myself out.
Thanks for Reading, all the way from South of England.
