Hi, I'm new to this group. My husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer 16 Months ago. Prostate, spread to his spine. Fighting with doctors for 5 months before he was diagnosed by which time it was too late. He's had radiotherapy and chemo. Xmas 24 he was in hospital for 5 weeks with pneumonia and they told me 3 times in that period that he wouldn't make the morning. He did! Now cancer seems to be stable but he can't do anywhere near what he used to do our life has become somewhat dull. We go out when he's feeling ok but it's few and far between. I gave up work to care for him so lost alot of my own independence. I feel lost, angry and alone. We have family who do what they can. Friends seemed to slope off when he was diagnosed, a few good ones give support but I feel alone. I feel guilty if I go out, although hubby encourages me to do so. We've only been married 4 years and it seems everything has been taken away from us. I cry alot, not in front of him and small things escalate until I don't feel in control. Hubby feels bad as he says this isn't fair on me....but it's not fair on him either
Hi Jazzlover
Welcome to our special carers club, I hope you find it useful and supportive and perhaps make you feel a bit less alone. I am Steve one of the community champions and my experience with cancer is through my wife who has Leiomyosarcoma - her cancer is stable after chemotherapy so we were helped to find a way to be living with cancer rather than anything else
Something that really helped me was doing a living with less stress course with Maggies.I was doing a great job of worrying about a future I could not control and often I imagined things worse that they actually turned out and that prevented me from appreciating what we have. The conscious breathing excises were great too when life decides it is time to throw us another curve ball but also in helping me relax.
There is some good advice in your feelings when someone has cancer as I find being able to recognize the emotions an accept them as valid can help to make them feel less overwhelming.
<<hugs>>
Steve
