Hi
My partner has been diagnosed with NET cancer, his primary cancer found in the small bowel, spread to his lymph nodes and secondary cancer in his liver. The oncologist told us they couldn't operate and they couldn't cure it, just try and control the spread. That was 2 months ago, so still a bit of a roller coaster of emotions and just everything since. We found all this information out at once which all originally stemmed from a diabetic test at the GP.
I am really struggling however. There are positive days and days I don't think about it, but then there is the majority of the time when it is a big black cloud hanging over our heads. I feel exhausted with working fulltime, picking up the slack at home as he is tired or in pain or lethargic. I don't want to moan to him as he has his own colossal load of information to process. I worry about money, if he is detonating - ( I can see signs), if the rest of the family is ok, if I can still manage my job at work, how long he's got, if he's sleeping too much, the list is endless.
I am pretty crap at sharing about my feelings generally and don't have any close friends I can share this with. It would be nice to hear from carers who have been or are going through something similar, so I don't feel so alone and I can find some positivity ( which I can do sometimes).
Thanks for reading
Jo
Hi JKJ and welcome to our community, I hope you find it as useful as I have.
My wife's cancer is quite different, Leiomyosarcoma but it was also incurable from the start. She had two lots of chemotherapy and the second helpfully made her cancer stable and we have been that way now for over 10 years.
The first time I reached out for help was when I walked in to the Maggies at our local hospital. Later I did a living with less stress course though them and it helped me to live more in the moment rather than making plans for a dark future - and I could imagine things much worse than they actually turned out. The conscious breathing exercises was great for when live decides to throw us the odd curveball but can also be really good at helping me relax.
I find quite a lot of help in your feelings when someone has cancer quite helpful since being able to recognize the emotions and accept them as valid can help to make them less overwhelming.
When I have talked about cancer in my workplace I found quite a few people who came up to me as they were also struggling but had never felt they could open up.
<<hugs>>
Steve
