Hi. My wife has been fighting with Cancer for over 5 years now, and a year or so ago it was confirmed as stage 4 now on the lungs. Has anyone else been through this as a carer? Since June this year her health has deteriorated where breathing is an issue day to day, an awful cough, and exhaustion. She refuses to let the doctors tell us about where we are, give us an idea of time scales etc. as a planner I find this very difficult, I’m currently off work helping with the day to day as chemo knocks her for 6, and we have young children. I have been poorly myself but dealing with that. I’m just keen to understand where we might be if there were any kind of a scale, and if there are any signs I could look for. If she is going to be poorly for sometime I need to think about returning to work, and getting some additional help. Thankfully I run my own business but I can’t demand the wage for much longer if I’m not contributing? What’s everyone else do? We are both in our early 40’s and I’m finding it all very difficult. Thanks
Hi Grubber
Janice never wanted a prognosis when she was diagnosed and I really struggled with that. Our son was also quite young at the time and I was thinking how was I going to cope with work and childcare after she was gone.
What I have found in what is now over 10 years is that mostly a prognosis can only be a best guess based on averages and nobody really knows what will happen.
I ended up doing a living with less stress course that really helped me, I was thinking of all sorts of dark futures many worse that what was actually happening and that prevented me appreciating what we have. Often on here people note about living day by day or even hour by hour and that can be so helpful. The conscious breathing training was also very helpful in both dealing with the unexpected - life still likes to throw us curveballs - but is also good for helping me relax. Transcendental meditation that did not really work for me.
<<hugs>>
Steve
