Hello

PomMum 4 months ago

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43 subscribers
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Hi everyone,

I am new to the group and to the topic of cancer. I am currently caring for my husband who was recently diagnosed with advanced thyroid cancer.

he is recovering from his second surgery which he had this week, I confess I am finding it tough. I have a full time job which I love but is quite demanding, my manager is being very supportive and allowing me to be flexible but I feel I am failing on all fronts.

I don't have family to help out, we have an adult son with Down Syndrome, he lives in supported accommodation near us but we are very active in his care.

Our youngest son died very suddenly in 2020 at the age of 24. My husband and I are both struggling emotionally with his diagnosis, I am really worried about his mental health as he is still grieving. Since losing our son I have constant fear that something will happen to the rest of my family.

Everyone thinks I am the strong one, my husband says this is why people don’t offer to help me, they assume I can cope.

I think I am coping but I am exhausted, it just feels like a lot. I feel lonely and isolated and then feel guilty for having these thoughts when I am not the one who is sick. I struggle to sleep and fit everything in I need to do.

I joined this group as I thought it might help to have someone to talk to.

sorry for the rambling post, any advice welcome

Cherry2 4 months ago

Hello PomMum, gosh you've had a lot to deal with and to carry. I'm so sorry about your husband's diagnosis. My position is not the same but there are similarities. My husband is disabled after a stroke ten years ago. I am his carer. Life has changed dramatically but we had both got used to the new normal, easier since I retired in 2021. I now only do occasional supply work.

My world fell apart when my daughter was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer a year ago this week. She's single and lives alone, luckily not far from us. I'm her support, she's had 8 rounds of chemo, three surgeries, 15 sessions of radiotherapy and has now started a further year of chemo. She stays with.us when she's really poorly, otherwise I spend a lot of time at her home.

I do know how you're feeling - completely overwhelmed, pulled in different directions, not giving anyone enough quality time ... when what you'd really like to do some days is curl up under the duvet and hope it will all go away.

This forum and Macmillan are a lifeline. Do call the helpline if you need to talk to someone. Also hope your husband's medical team are supportive - daughter's CNS nurse has been a great support for me. I did also talk to my GP when I was at my lowest and he was helpful.

Sending you strength and the biggest hug.

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