Not eating during chemo

Hi there, My husband has kidney cancer and was diagnosed as terminal in March, as it has spread to the liver. He has always been a small eater, and in December when he lost a lot of weight I managed to get him to go to the GP’s. We have managed to get him on prescription for Fortysips. This is a protein drink with many flavours, they are about 400 calories each. We pick them up from the local pharmacy. Chemo is tough. We aim for roughly 4 shakes per day. 

Hi, thank you for your message.

I just told him about an hour ago about shakes as we have tried them before and he is refusing. He will be having break from chemo now but if this will continue once he is back on chemo ,I think I will have to push harder for that. 

It is frustrating and scary. 

Must be so hard for you, hope you are coping? 

Hi Again,

Thank you for asking me about coping. The truth is, it is really tough. The diagnosis was in March, and since then it has felt like a slow form of torture. Both of our adult children are still at home. They have been amazing and do what they can. I find night time the worse, as it all closes in. On a lighter note, we get out and about and go to The National Trust. We have also got a mobility scooter, which means my husband can still retain some independance.

It is good you are going out. Nothing more important than creating memories and trying to continue to live as much normal life as possible. Its good that you got support from children.

Mine are small so its all on me with no support from elsewhere. I am going to booj counselling again as it is hard to keep it all inside withou being able to share my worries and loneliness.

That sounds savage. You must be exhausted. Was counselling helpful before ?

It is exhausting. I also work full time and currently have a very busy schedule at work, so dropping kids in the morning, running after work to pick up and come back home..then dinner, etc. But once he bounces back he helps a lot.

Emotionally I am so drained when I have free time I just do nothing. Even struggled with mass at church today, when needed to stand I was thinking how tired I am. 

Counselling helped a lot before and I've been told that I will need to be back. I had a specialist counsellor who dealt with cancer patients and carers so it helped. Now I need to book someone through insurance and that counselor is not available. I need someone to help me to remind me things I forget, like - asking for help, etc.

Have you tried counselling?

• No, I haven’t to date.I am not sure what they could do for me. One of the hardest things is when you forget for a while, and then it comes back like a steam train rolling over you. It is so intense.When the chemo was really tough on my husband about a month ago, I worked out I was crying 3 to 4 times a week. I do understand it really hard for our husband’s, however, it is incredibly exhausting for their families too. You must try and have a break, somehow. 

I also was not sure how counseling can help, but actualy was surprised. It was good to unload all my worries without worrying that I am affecting another person. With family or friends its different while with counselling you just say whatever its in your mind with no judgement because they are not close to you. 

I am same, I forget for a while and all seems good and then it hits back again.

We will have holidays soon if he recovers well from this chemotherapy. I am waiting as need rest. Will have time to read and sleep.

Thanks for your thoughts about counselling. I wil give it some thought. I hope you all have a lovely holiday.

Thank you, I hope we will manage to go.

He is not well today, nurse came to disconnect his chemo pump and he struggled to go downstairs. Still very sick and not eating since friday.

I just had a rough talk with him and managed to convince him to drink energy drink. Will see how he feels tomorrow morning but looks like might need to call go for Fortysips prescription. I think I will just call anyway and say he needs that support, at least once now.